Hi, I am female and 26. I dont have a job because I ve had social anxiety disorder since i was very young. I have fear of blushing when around people (and when i blush its very obvious). I have low confidence , low self esteem, and i seem to have negative thoughts about myself like im stupid, im going to make myself look like a fool, im going to fail. Occasionally i feel depressed because i am this way. I ve had two emotional breakdowns when I got really stressed. I m sensitive and i tend to get stressed real easily. People tell me im attractive, but its hard for me to believe this sometimes and accept their compliments. I do have friends, but no close friends. I have a fiance though and hes the only one i can really talk to. A lot of my days i stay home and have low energy, no motivation , and dont accomplish much and feel like im wasting my life away. I force myself to get things done around the house, but when i do i tend to get distracted easily and cant stay on task for too long because i get bored. I do like going out with my fiance/friends and having fun once in awhile, but i wish i could stop being so shy and insecure when doing so. I am very dependent on others. When i do things on my own, my anxiety goes up and i seem to always doubt myself. My parents keep telling me to get a job, but i dont know how to tell them that theres something wrong with me. I ve had jobs before but they never lasted long. My longest job was over 2 years at a grocery store doing stock, but when i had to move, i couldn t wait to quit that job. At my jobs i always felt tense, uncomfortable, shy, and not myself. What can i do to help myself? I dont want my life to be like this. I believe i need medication for my social anxiety, but not sure if i need any other medications for whatever it is that i have. Also, the past month I ve been trying meditation to help with my negative thinking and theres been little progress. I think i need a psychiatrist ...