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Feel anxiety when having sex with boyfriend. Treatment?

Hello, would you please tell me what kind of treatment i need for BDD, apart for teraphy, councelling and CBT . I get very anxious when i have sex with my boyfriend and cannot watch him on the face, i alawys need to be dark in the room, and all the time feel shame when we make sex. He kind of get use with me but for me its very unconfortable,. I think my behaviour relate to my teeneger years when i have been very aubused by a man, mentally and physicaly. After that, now 10 years since happen, i have alawys been ashamed in relationship and wonder if i have to tell my boyfriend what make me happy in the bed or still keep shut, as i am concern about rejection or any other stress about my own body. Thank you very much for reading this and very apreciate if you can help me. Angela
Asked On : Sun, 24 Feb 2013
Answers:  3 Views:  29
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Psychiatrist 's  Response

Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.

I'm not sure what you are referring to by the term "BDD". You have probably mispelt it; so please clarify.

You have also mentioned that you are having a problem of feeling anxious and unconfortable while having sex. Like you have mentioned, it could be related to your past history of abuse or past negative sexual experiences. I would advise you to consult a psychiatrist for a detailed evaluation, so that further management of your problem can be planned.

Wish you all the best.

Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar
Consultant Psychiatrist
Answered: Mon, 25 Feb 2013
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Psychiatrist Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi's  Response
Dec 2014
Hello pricopie
Welcome to HCM
You are on right treatment of BDD. And for anxiety during having intercourse is related to the trauma during your teenage years. Abuse during teen age cause deep mental trauma and it causes fixation of ones belief about intercourse, in a lot of people thinking about opposite sex changes, they don't able to make proper relationships. But my friend be have to move past the speed breakers of life, you can't control your past but you can change your present and future. Try to forget the bad time, its over now.
One method is to just recapitulate the bad time, I know it will induce severe anxiety in you but you have to face it, you will suffer with severe anxiety but then it will ultimately desensitize you with present anxiety.
Second is to talk with your boyfriend about the anxiety you are facing, you can hide the abuse part if you don't want to tell him. It will give confidence to you.
Third is to try CBT methods and deep breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, meditation and yoga at home which will increase the tolerance.
Progressively you will recover from trauma.
Hope I cleared your doubt, if you are not satisfied you can ask again.
Take Care
Answered: Sun, 24 Feb 2013
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Psychiatrist Dr. Sundar Gnanavel's  Response
Thanks for your query. Performance anxiety related to sexual act might be normal or related to history of sexual abuse as you had mentioned. It would require a thorough psychiatric evaluation to pin point the cause of anxiety symptoms. Following that appropriate management can be initiated. Supportive psychotherapy from a clinical psychologist can be recommended at this point of time. Hope you found the information useful.
Dr Sundar
Answered: Wed, 27 Feb 2013
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