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Why do I still find sex painful ?

Hi, i was just wondering if this was normal; after having sex for about a year now, i still find sex painful. Especially when he enters me. I havent got a STI as we are both each others first. Im on the pill and we occasionally use condoms. Is it normal to still hurt???? No nasty comments please.
Asked On : Mon, 21 Dec 2009
Answers:  2 Views:  397
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  User's Response
There is no such thing as normal - why do you believe painful sex could be normal? When it comes to sex far too women consider it 'normal' to experience pain the first few times – truth is whether it is the first time or the millionth it should not hurt but instead be pleasurable. Pain is your body's way of telling you that something is wrong and there is no reason to keep putting yourself through pain. The idea of sex being painful the first few times is pure myth and if you are willing to endure pain during sex then perhaps it is not the best idea that you are sexually active. There are a few things that commonly cause pain during penetrative sex, the most obvious being lack of arousal – during sex your vagina doubles in size, the muscles relax and the walls of the vagina produce lubrication. If there is not enough sex prior to penetration it means the above mentioned things do not occur and as such penetration can be painful. Women and men are made differently, only 30% of women orgasm from penetrative sex, so ideally you should have sex [foreplay] before penetration, ideally to the point of orgasm, prior to penetrative sex to insure you are fully aroused. If it has been going on for so long then there is something wrong, a lot of women experience something known as Vaginismus, where vaginal muscles do not relax, as well as other sexual problems. For most women this is a mental problem, often the result of hang-ups about sex or issues from their past where sexual abuse may have been experienced. There are also physical reasons for painful sex, not just STD's but also spasms within the vagina that make penetration difficult. Whatever the cause you need to stop putting yourself through this pain and find out the cause of your pain during sex, it may just be a case of mental associations between sex and a negative experience, but it may be something more serious physical such as perhaps as someone has mentioned endometriosis. Also a very important point is that just because you are each others first partners does not mean that you are both free from STD's by any stretch of the imagination - be responsible, always use protection! I would suggest you get yourself checked for STD's because STD's can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease that can cause painful penetration. More information;
Answered: Mon, 21 Dec 2009
  User's Response

Some women just aren't wired to enjoy vaginal sex. Is your boyfriend wider then average? Is he circumcised? If he is, he doesn't have the sleeve that allows his penis to move in and out without rubbing against your vaginal walls, that could lead to painful sex. Its a seldom talked about side affect of circumcision but its a bigger problem then people realize. I reccomend lots and lots of lube, and get yourself aroused first, take ten minutes or so for forplay, maybe use vibrator on the outside of yourself before hand. It sounds like you are unexperienced so you should know that all of these things are really standard for couples, its nothing to be ashamed about.


Answered: Sat, 6 Mar 2010
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