Question: Dr Seikhoo Bishnoi please. i have been doing a little better this week but tonight am feeling sad again. I miss not only XXXXXXX but XXXXXXX too. I don't have enough money to find a place for XXXXXXX and I to live together. We had a snow storm two days ago and I have been stuck inside alone for most of the time. I bought my daughter's car and hope to get my license back but the sadness of losing XXXXXXX AND XXXXXXX is affecting me. I am taking remeron, olazopine and zanax at night and have been having strange dreams. The anxiety about my living situation is not good. XXXX and I saw XXXXXXX in his shop a week ago from the outside window. I am okay but am afraid I am going to lose it that is, start feeling really bad again. Sam's aunt and uncle are flying here tomorrow and it could get bad for me because they do not like me. I am afraid if they try to meddle in his life I will not be able to see him much this week. I wish we had enough money to live together. Friday I will be taking my driver's test and hope I can drive again soon but my anxiety is getting worse. How can I keep myself from becoming suicidal or from having anxiety attacks?

Okay. I will cut the dose again...it didn't seem to be bad at the lower dose. I am scared of living alone with almost no money in this cold lonely place. I haven't even seen XXXXXXX since Monday. I saw a lady from the church yesterday for less than an hour but otherwise I see no one...

How can I decrease my anxiety? XXXXXXX doesn't believe in taking drugs so taking zanax would not be a good idea...I just wish that my XXXXXXX and I were together again and that I wouldn't be stuck here for hours on end alone. It is really hard to be here all alone most of the days every day except the weekends. Last weekend I cried when I knew that XXXXXXX was going to go back to his Dad's house. I want to be with XXXXXXX ..not sure how to go about doing that though.reading and looking at the computer is getting old and I have no one or nothing to do most days except go to the massage bed place for hours on end. I cannot afford to see the counselor who is supposed to be good but don't know what to do about that either.

Okay. I only take the zanax at night and don't like the way it makes me feel, tired so I try not to do that. XXXXXXX thinks I am planning on staying here but XXXXXXX and I are looking for a place we can live together. I am anxious because I am alone all the time. With XXXXXXX I was not anxious very much but without him I am anxious. I am hoping to get my driver's license back from the accident I had over a year ago when i had a bad head injury and gave it up to avoid being prosecuted. The prosecutor said I could try to get it back if the neurologist cleared me and she did but I have been too afraid to get my driver's license back until now. I am afraid of failing the test and afraid XXXXXXX and I won't find a place to live together..in fact I am immobilized by fear and anxiety. XXXXXXX wants me to stay but it would be better for XXXXXXX and me if we lived together again because it would save money and neither of us would be so anxious or depressed.
I still love XXXXXXX but living in a different place has helped me to forget him most of the time until this woman who did so much damage came into Pat's place today again. She really must be crazy because she doesn't even seem to know how much damage she caused helping him to file the injunction against me. She acts like she is my friend but I think she is seriously mentally ill and am a bit afraid of her now so I never say much to her even though i want to know so badly why she did that help XXXXXXX I mean to file the injunction against me. She didn't know that we were in love until she heard what was said in court...but at least I am in a different situation now where he is not on my mind so much...

Without treatment XXXXXXX will never get better is that what you think? It isn't likely that he will go into remission at any time soon? I feel so sad that my life is so messed up with no chance it will get better...I truly loved him...

I feel myself going into depression again. i am hoping to be able to live with XXXXXXX again soon but my money situation is so bad I am not sure how we can do it. I am overwhelmed by the expenses for my daughter's old car and cannot afford to maybe even keep it, i just don't know. XXXXXXX is the only person I see much and otherwise I am alone all the time...I just wish my life would end so i wouldn't have to keep on living alone with no money...it is hard to continue to fight this battle with life..now my eyesight is going. I have cataracts and cannot afford to have surgery and am going to have to try for my driver's license tomorrow. I am just feeling so lonely and forlorn...

Thank you Dr B. I am sad about XXXXXXX but it is no longer driving my life. I talked to my old landlord this morning and he said he might have a place that is going to open up. I am scared about my driver's test but am going to try for it anyway. My old landlord and I are friends as is his wife and he said he thought I sounded a lot better.

I want XXXXXXX to be with me and had hoped for Israel but may not have the money for israel anymore. I feel sad about it but maybe if I get into a place that will accept XXXXXXX as a renter from XXXXXXX and XXXXXXX then things will improve. I can no longer work as my legs and back are in bad shape. But at least I can walk a little bit better.

Thanks for your help. I will know this afternoon about the license. XXXX's old car is not in the best shape but it is drive able.