Question: hi, im stuck....to the extreme. in 2012 i was made aware of codependency, the cycle of abuse, low self esteem/worth, depression, bdd, ptsd, anxiety....2 years later i am still a mess, i know what i need to do, i know how to do it, it want to...what do i do?

hi Dr. XXXXXXX

i apologise for the delay.
i know i could go on for way too long so if you don't mind i will answer as youve asked.

i havent been diagnosed with PTSD, my old therapist thinks i have it from childhood. so did the hypnotherapist. My mother was abusive, controlling, very negative. i was cleaning our 3 story house in grade 1 tending to pets, starting dinner, doing lunches, i had a house key.
i would get belted for cleaning something the wrong way. for folding the washing wrong, even though im left handed. then i would get belted again for crying. i used to pray dad came home first so i wasnt alone with mum. she used to tell me she hated me.
my babysitter tried to make us hug once, was horrible, i find it awkward a bit now, or maybe just useless really. i used to layby my toys with the $1.50 i got for cleaning each week.
i have no happy memories, not that i have a good memory. as i grew up even my teachers would worry, i never got a day off school even after a major accident like falling of my horse onto the corner of a cement drain....my grades were under constant scrutiny...in VCE my english teacher asked if i was going to be alright to go home because i got a B.
anyway you get the idea.
also i was never pretty like my friends, i had to put makeup on or i couldnt go with mum to whichever friends we were seeing. she was very hard very detached but very work motivated and believed in doing your best. my best was just never good enough. still isnt.
i know im ugly i see the difference makeup makes, i feel like i have to hide the ugliness, then i have to maintain it so people dont realise. when i look in the mirror i automatically get the tune (and i apologise for the revolting language..)
''your an ugly f@#er mother f@*#er'' ...
i sometimes cant go into shops, because people will look at me im embarassed...the supermarket isnt as busy at night though.
i automatically call myself names like f#@*ing idiot, retard, dickhead, etc about 50 -100 times a day, i dont realise until someone say ''dont say those things about yourself.
i get teary thinking about how i look, if some one comments on my looks i get upset even though theyare being nice.
i threw a baby album away because i saw i wasnt even a cute baby.
this is hard and i go off the topic sorry, what in particular should i be focusing on?
bdd in relation to?
my fisgusting figure and face the only decent part are long eyelashes and thats only with mascara.i didnt even show my legs in public untilmy late twenties, never wore bather in front of anyone
i have had periods of cuttingmyself mainy in my 20's and the last 12 months. someimes its because i cant stand what i see, sometimes it also because i cant stand me, how weak i am, how i am a failure, i i let life get to this ....
sorry.



this is an online test ( ive done many) dont know if it helps


Mental Health Assessment

INTRODUCTIONRESULTSFIND A THERAPIST
You had symptoms in several categories of disorders covered in this test. This suggests that you should probably consult with a mental health professional for further testing or treatment, especially if you are distressed about the symptoms you are experiencing. There is most certainly a treatment out there that will help improve the symptoms you are experiencing.

The following are the areas of concern detected by the screening:



Panic Disorder
Your responses suggest that you may be suffering from Panic Disorder. This means that you experience repeated periods of intense fear or physical discomfort, which occur without warning or obvious precipitating events. These attacks are disturbing to you or cause you to limit your activities.

The DSM-IV criteria for Panic Disorder are as follows:

Recurrent attacks of at least four of the following symptoms:
Heart palpitations, feeling like the heart is racing or pounding.
Sweating.
Trembling or shaking.
Shortness of breath, sensation of being smothered or choked.
Chest pain.
Nausea or other forms of stomach upset.
Feeling dizzy, lightheaded, or faint.
Feeling detached from reality or a sensation of being outside of oneself.
Fear of losing control or going "crazy".
Fear of dying.
Numbing or tingling sensations.
Chills or hot flashes.
The attack or attacks have been followed by a minimum of one month in which the person experiences one of more of the following:
Persistent concern and worry about having another panic attack.
Worry about what the attacks mean, what could be causing them, or what could happen as a result of the attacks.
Change of behavior as a result of the attacks.

The person is not suffering from Agoraphobia, which is roughly defined as being anxious about suffering a panic attack in situations where escape is difficult or embarrassing, and limiting behavior as a result of this anxiety.

The panic attacks are not due to another disorder, such as
Social Phobia (e.g. if they occurred mostly in social situations), Specific Phobia (e.g. if they had only one type of situation or object that caused them to experience attacks), Obsessive-compulsive Disorder, or Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (in response to things that remind them of the difficult scenario.
Panic Disorder can be debilitating. Untreated, it can be a frightening and limiting disorder. If you feel that you are suffering from this, speak to a mental health professional to prevent it from further disrupting your life and to develop a treatment plan that fits your needs. The treatments used might include Exposure Therapy, which slowly builds up from mildly frightening situations to more frightening ones, or other forms of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. These forms of therapy will usually be used in conjunction with pharmaceutical drugs, including anti-anxiety drugs and some forms of anti-depressants.

Relational Difficulties
Your responses indicated that your relationships are at least in some way dysfunctional, and may be causing problems in your life. While not an official diagnosis in the DSM IV, there has been some discussion about adding relationship issues to the next edition. The bottom line is that if you are unhappy with the way you relate with others, or feel that a particular relationship you have with someone is unhealthy, seeking help from a therapist can help you resolve these issues.

Symptoms Detected
You show symptoms of several mental health disorders. While they have not reached the level of full diagnosis, seeking the advice of a therapist is recommended, as the symptoms may become overwhelming, more frequent, and more serious.


If you feel that your symptoms are a problem for you, speaking with a professional therapist or psychiatrist, or a medical professional is your first step towards obtaining help. The most effective treatment for Bipolar Disorder appears to be pharmaceutical drugs, in particular lithium, anticonvulsant mood stabilizers, and atypical antipsychotic drugs. Cognitive Therapy might also be useful for Bipolar patients, mostly to assist in understanding the illness, dealing with its consequences, preventing relapse (monitoring symptoms and adjusting medications before a full-blown relapse occurs), and ensuring adherence to the drug regime.

Specific Phobia
You show some signs of suffering from a Specific Phobia, but not enough for a definitive diagnosis. People with a Specific Phobia have a strong, unreasonable fear of a particular object or situation.

The DSM-IV describes the signs and symptoms of Specific Phobia as follows:

Excessive fear of an object of situation that is cued either by the presence or anticipation of being exposed to that stimulus.
Exposure of the object or situation almost always provokes a strong and immediate anxious response, or results in panic attacks related to the phobia.
The fear is recognized by the individual as being unreasonable and out of proportion.
Contact with the object or situation is avoided if at all possible, or endured only with great anxiety and/or distress.
The issues surrounding the phobia, such as distress, panic attacks, and avoidance of the phobia interfere with the individual's life.
The symptoms of Specific Phobia cannot be better explained by another disorder, such as Panic Disorder, Social Phobia, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
This type of phobia can often be easily treated with Cognitive or Behavioral Therapy techniques. Exposure Therapy, for example, slowly builds up from mildly frightening situations to more frightening ones in order to reduce the phobic reaction. Flooding, which entails placing the individual into the situation they find frightening and then teaching them how to relax in that scenario, can also help. Drug therapies might also be used.

Social Phobia
Your responses suggest that you show some signs of suffering from a Social Phobia, but not enough to meet the criteria for this disorder. People diagnosed with this disorder have a strong, irrational fear related to social situations or public speaking.

The DSM-IV specifies the following signs and symptoms as being necessary for the diagnosis of Social Phobia:

Extreme and persistent fear regarding social interactions or situations where the person must appear in front of others; the individual worries about embarrassing him or herself as well as showing his or her anxiety to others.
Being exposed to social or performance situations invokes a great deal of anxiety and/or leads to panic attacks in response to the anxiety.
The person realizes that his or her reaction to these situations is above and beyond what is reasonable.
Contact with unfamiliar others and performance situations is avoided if at all possible, or endured only with great deal of anxiety and/or distress.
The issues surrounding the phobia, such as distress, panic attacks, and avoidance of the phobia interfere with the individual's life.
The symptoms of Simple Phobia cannot be better explained by another disorder, such as Panic Disorder with or without Agoraphobia, a Developmental Disorder, Schizoid Personality Disorder or Body Dysmorphic Disorder.
Social skills training can be of great help for people with this disorder, as can Exposure Therapy, which slowly builds up from mildly frightening situations to more frightening ones. Flooding, which entails placing the individual directly into the situation they find frightening and then teaching them how to relax in that scenario, can also help. Drug therapies might also be used to quell some of the anxiety experienced in social situations. Speak to a professional to confirm the diagnosis and determine a treatment plan for you.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
You appear to suffer from a few of the symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; however, you do not meet all the criteria. This disorder entails recurrent obsessions (excessive and uncontrollable thoughts) and/or compulsions (uncontrollable, repetitive behaviors) that are disruptive to the individual's functioning, are distressing to him or her, are time consuming and recognized by him or her as being excessive.

The DSM-IV lists the following signs and symptoms that point to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder:

Obsessions and/or compulsions must occur.
Obsessions consist of all of the following:

Recurrent thoughts, impulses or images that keep popping up uncontrollably, are recognized as not being appropriate, and that cause distress and concern in the individual.
These thoughts and worries experienced are not simply extreme examples of worry about real-life problems.
The individual tries to repress these thoughts, images, or impulses or prevent them from occurring by performing another action or thought.
The individual recognizes that these thoughts, images, and impulses are a product of his or her own mind.
Compulsions consist of both of the following:

The person performs repetitive behaviors (washing his or her hands, checking that the doors in his or house are locked over and over, or repetitively straightening objects in his or her house, and similar behaviors) or mental acts (counting to the same number over and over, praying, repeating words or phrases internally) in response to an obsession.
These behaviors are either meant to calm the individual, or are aimed at preventing something bad from happening; however, these actions cannot logically stop these things from occurring or are clearly excessive.
In addtion...

The obsessions and/or compulsions are seen as unreasonable and/or excessive.
They are also disturbing to the individual, take up unreasonable amounts of his or her time, or interfere with his or her life.
These obsessions or compulsions are not solely related to another disorder, or a result of a drug or medication, or a medical condition.
Treatment for OCD can be very effective. They include medications, or behavioral and cognitive therapy, among others. A mental health professional can assist you in developing a treatment plan to help you.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
You show some of the signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) but do not fulfill all the diagnostic criteria. This disorder, which can occur after a traumatic experience, involves intense feelings of anxiety and even flashbacks of the experience.

The DSM-IV describes the following signs and symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder:

The person witnessed, experienced, or was otherwise confronted with a traumatic event or series of events that involved threat of death or injury to him or herself or others.
The person's response to this event involved intense fear, feelings of helplessness, or horror.
The person repeatedly re-experiences the event in at least one of the following forms:
Repetitive, intrusive recollections of the event, including images, thoughts or perceptions (visions, hearing or smelling the same smell or sounds that occurred that day, etc.).
Recurrent dreams or nightmares about the event in question.
Feeling as if he or she is reliving the traumatic experience (i.e., experiencing flashbacks, hallucinations or other vivid sense of experiencing the event again).
The person experiences extreme psychological distress upon being reminded of or thinking about the traumatic experience.
The person has an actual physical reaction upon being reminded of or thinking about the traumatic experience.
The individual avoids experiencing stimuli associated with the traumatic event or shows signs of general numbing of feelings and interest in everyday life, in the form of three or more of the following:
Avoiding thinking about or discussing the traumatic event.
Avoiding the place, people, or activities that are associated with the traumatic event.
Blocking out (experiencing amnesia about) important memories associated with the precipitating event.
Diminished interest in or participation in formerly enjoyed activities.
Feelings of emotional detachment or estrangement from others.
Dampening of emotions -- feeling that emotions have a restricted range, i.e. unable to feel love towards others.
Expectations about future are foreshortened; that is, the person believes that his or her life will be cut short, or that he or she will never reach normal milestones, such as marriage, birth of children, career, etc.
The person experiences frequent and persistent symptoms of increased physiological arousal (his or her body appears ready to react rapidly in case of another stressful event), in the form of two or more of the following:
The person has difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep.
He or she appears irritable or has emotional or angry outbursts.
He or she experiences difficulty concentrating.
His or her senses are hypervigilant and she or he appears to be constantly on the lookout for threats.
He or she startles easily.
The symptoms related to this experience went on for more than one month and caused distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
You've experienced a traumatic event in your life, and are obviously suffering. A mental health professional can help guide you in the healing process and can help you learn to live with the memories of this difficult experience. The treatments for PTSD include Exposure Therapy, which slowly builds up from mildly frightening situations to more frightening ones, as well as relaxation techniques for handling anxiety and group therapy, among others.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Your answers indicate that you show some of the signs of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but not enough of them to meet all the criteria. People suffering with this disorder are on edge most of the time, with no obvious precipitating event. This is a very common disorder and there are many effective treatments available.

The DSM-IV states that the following signs and symptoms must be apparent for a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder to be made:

The individual must experience excessive anxiety and worry more days than not for a minimum of six months. The concern must be about a number of different events or areas of life, not focused on one or two specific issues.
The person must have a difficult time controlling his or her worry.
The anxiety and worry must be associated with at least three of the following physical or emotional symptoms:
Feelings of restlessness, edginess, or unease.
Feeling easily fatigued.
Difficulty maintaining concentration or a feeling of his or her mind going blank.
Irritability.
Tense muscles.
Sleep disturbance in the form of insomnia or difficulty staying asleep, or feeling unsatisfied with his or her sleep.
The anxiety and worry must not occur solely as a result of another disorder, such as Social Phobia, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Anorexia or Bulimia, Post-Traumatic Disorder, Panic Disorder, Somatization Disorder, or Hypochondriasis.
The anxiety, worry and accompanying physical and emotional symptoms must cause the person distress or lead to impairment of his or her functioning at work, in his or her personal life, or in other life areas.
The anxiety is not due to a physical condition or drug use (illegal or medical), and does not occur only during a mood disorder such as Depression, in the course of a Psychotic Disorder, or due to a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (such as Autism).
Treatments for Generalized Anxiety Disorder include anti-anxiety medications, relaxation therapy, and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder
You appear to experience symptoms of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, but this fact is not yet affecting your relationships or causing you distress. Many different issues can contribute to low levels of sexual desire - you might have some relationship problems with your partner, you might be too busy to think about sex, or there may be some physical or hormonal problems involved. While it can be embarrassing to talk about sexual problems with medical or mental health professionals, they are accustomed to dealing with these issues, and the potential for improvement is worth it.

The DSM-IV criteria for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder are as follows:

Persistent lack of desire for sexual activities or an absence of fantasy about sex, taking into account the person's age and context of his or her life.
This dysfunction must cause distress or impact negatively on personal relationships.
The disorder cannot be better accounted for by another mental disorder, by drug use (medical or illegal) or by a general medical condition.
Bulimia Nervosa
You appear to be suffering from some of the symptoms of Bulimia Nervosa, but you do not fulfill all of the diagnostic criteria. Bulimics binge eat, eating a great deal more than they need to, and follow this by compensatory behaviors in order to prevent weight gain, such as purging, fasting for long periods of time, using laxatives, or exercising excessively. This pattern of behavior is extremely harmful and treatment may be necessary if you are binging and/or purging on a regular basis.

The DSM-IV criteria for this disorder are as follows:

Recurrent episodes of binge eating, as indicated by both of the following:
Eating in a short, distinct period of time (e.g., a 2-hour period), more than most people would eat given similar circumstances.
A lack of control over the eating (e.g. wanting to stop but feeling unable to do so, or planning to eat a certain amount, but feeling compelled to eat a lot more than that amount).
Recurrent behaviors performed to compensate for this overeating and prevent weight gain; these may include self-induced vomiting, the misuse of laxatives, diuretics, or enemas, excessive exercise, or fasting.
These binging and compensatory behaviors must both occur, on average, at least two times per week for three months.
Person's sense of self-worth is dependent upon his or her weight.
The disorder does not occur solely during episodes of Anorexia Nervosa.
There are two types of Bulimia Nervosa: the Purging Type and the Nonpurging Type. The Purging Bulimic uses self-induced vomiting or laxatives, diuretics, or enemas on a regular basis. The Nonpurging type uses other methods to prevent weight gain due to the binging behavior.

Long-term bulimia can lead to dental damage, stomach ulcers, tears in the esophagus, swollen salivary glands, lowered potassium levels, heart arrhythmia, and even sudden death. The underlying emotional issues that caused this eating disorder also deserve attention. Please seek help from a medical or mental health professional as soon as possible.