Hello Lisa**** thanks for your question first of all I would like to tell you that depression is very common in present time and its no longer considered stigma. Depression is a illness like any other medical illness. Deficiency of certain neurotransmitters is culprit in depression. Although you are not suicidal but you have death wishes which is not right. Life is a precious gift and we have to live for ourself, our parents. So at least take my advise and try not to think about death for a while. If you don t want to discuss with parents then discuss it with any close friend or sibling if possible as you will find ways to cope. In depression cognitive therapy is very important part of treatment. To control you sadness you have to start thinking about life in a different prospective. Feeling negative about future (hopelessness), about self (worthlessness), and others (helplessness) are main features that further worsen depression. So start to hit each domain one by one, try to re memorize any good time of life or any time of life when you were very happy, then feel the difference in yourself then and now. Try to make your self short and small goals in life and when you are in condition to achieve them then celebrate your success. Try to avoid thinking about future, live in present and live every moment. If you can t do all this you can take help of some Antidepressant drug for some time and then control yourself by own. hope i solved your concern to some extent thanks kindly rate :) take care all the best you can do it.