Question: My 18 yr old son is dealing with many issues right now. Since x-mas he has dealt with his first break up with a girl, she broke up with him after telling him how much he loved her and she telling him how much she loved him He truly believed everything she said- she however seemed to have not had the same feelings. He was devasted- she herself had a history of cutting her self, was dealing with multiple domestic issues at home, she is a vegan and would purge, she had little self confidence, had suicide ideations, this whole break up caused his last several months in high school to spiral downwards. He is a smart young man he has a 89% average even after dropping his grades since March due to all these issues. He has always had issues focusing and tends to have anxiety. which seems to has escalated since this whole event. He is addicted to the internet (you tube, science videos, history and news channels national geographic, environmental causes . He finds it very hard to break away from the internet to focus on his school work and needs constant reminding to stop and refocus on homework. He will sit in his room for hrs doing 10 min of homework and then 45 min of internet viewing going back and forth from homework and the internet.
He has become a vegetarian since March which is fine but has lost 20 lbs as he began to purge too like his girlfriend did. I have confronted him on several occasions doing this. In the last few weeks he seems to have stopped doing this and he seems to have an appetite again. His answer for purging was because he doesn't like how he looks.
I have found out he is drinking alcohol now at the party's he attended pre and post graduation and I found alcohol in his room this morning. He is drinking alone and has been for some time (so I just found out). We have a history of alcoholism on my husband's side (his mother and several of her brothers) He is sad, depressed, feeling despair. He is angry alot of the time. He has been seeing a councilor for 5 weeks now and his family Dr and he feels they have done nothing for him. He gets very angry when confronted with any issues re: rude behaviors,and he retreats to his room,punches walls, he treats all of us awful as he says we are the reason for his pain and if we would of helped him years ago (which we did take him to a psychologist then and have worked with teachers etc. took him to self esteem building camps when he was young but nothing worked as he says no one helps him. Has voiced suicide ideas but says he is too weak of a person to take his life. I know he wants help but he also just wants everyone to do it for him. His counselor right now says that she has been given him tools to read to help deal with his coping and strategies to use to help him cope (behavior modification) etc but he says she has done nothing for him. That has always been his personality. He has always had low self esteem, no confidence. He has always been pretty black and white with his thinking. He never would of lied to me in the past nor try and act out. He had few to little friends all his school life, never fit into group sports even though we have tried him in many sports throughout the years from hockey to soccer to cub scouts to rowing, to track and field, He does ref. hockey presently and is a lifeguard.
He has won many awards throughout school but has never felt happy about those achievements .
My son loved to run until he hurt his knee in a 15 km run this spring and has been going to physio since XXXXXXX to get it better but he is non compliant with doing the exercises at home that the physio recommended. Therefore he is no longer getting exercise that use to help relieve his stress
My husband and I have few friends where we live and only 2 elderly parents for family supports. My whole family lives a 4 hr fight away and his 2 brothers live 1 hr away but rarely come down to see his parents or us. Our 17 yr old daughter knows there are problems but we have tried to shield her from all that his happening with her brother. She just trying to overcompensate to help us all be happy. I could go on and on... We have no idea what to do .. we would do anything to help him. We are trying to get into counselling ourselves but on a waitlist for help and have met with my son's councilor but because he is 18 she cannot discuss anything with us about their sessions. I suggested to my son we go to counselling together and he says he likes to do it alone, we have discussed antidepressants but he knows he cannot drink if he is on them. He has never been on any medications in his life. Unsure maybe now he needs meds??? antidepressant or maybe something to help him focus and decrease his anxiety Therefore he is not sure he want to do this.... he wants help but yet he doesn't...
He has been accepted to go to a university into the engineering faculity in the fall 3.5 hrs away from here. Engineering is a very stressful course up here and am tremendously worried about this, but he is looking forward to this. He is anxious and not sure how he will cope there. We have told him he does not have to go if he is not ready. I am worried that all these non coping behaviors will only get worse and he will really plummet. He needs a change of place from here His life in this small community has not been a good thing and I know he needs to get away.

Not sure you can advise me but any advice would help me right now of how we proceed.

Thank you

I am very worried about the side effects of any antidepressants. I have never been one to give the children medications unless really necessary. However right now I am thinking we are at this point that he needs something to help elevate his mood. I have been a nursing for over 30 yrs and have seen how some antidepressants work on people and I don't want him to be walking around like a zombie. Maybe these new antidepressant type meds don't have such severe side effects. If he is put on antidepressants and he agrees how often should the Dr see him. His counselor told me that they really don't need to monitor him once he is put on thee meds. I thought they should be seeing him weekly? I know it takes 2-3 weeks before you even see a change in a person anyways. What happens if he does use alcohol if he was put on an antidepressant?
I am still puzzled as to what my husband and I can do more for him? My son was so remorseful after his big explosion with me yesterday - he just really wants help and yet nothing has ever worked in the past. So he is stuck and has lost trust in most of us/ Maybe if he gets in a better frame of mind he can see he needs to be part of the solution.?? Could the antidepressants help him to get to that place??
Is there such a thing as an antidepressant and something that helps him focus in the same medication? If so what is the name of that? I have heard of a med called Trintellix Is there one that is for young adults and is mild?
My husband worries about antidepressants as there are so many side effects and because we were both raised to cope on our own and solve problems without medications. We are open to what ever our son needs - I just know he cannot stay stuck in the place he is in right now.

Do you know this Trintellix antidepressants. I meet with my son's Dr on Thurs His counselor talked about Prozac but I am not sure what the drug of choice would be for him Any suggestions?

Thank you for all your help and suggestions. We go to his family Dr tomorrow. Hoping he will work with me as my son is 18 now His Dr is not pleased if I have gotten a 2nd opinion on most matters. I am hoping for the best of my son he will be open to Zoloft as the antidepressant for my son. We needs something very soon Thank you again

Thank you I will read up on them all today. My son's appointment is tomorrow with his GP. His Dr is not very open to suggestions, however am hoping we are all here for the right reasons and to help make a difference for my son's well being. I just would like to try and get him on the right one the first time with the smallest amount of side effects.

Well that did not go well with the Dr. He allowed me to have 10 min in the room telling what I am seeing with my son and his behaviors the last couple of weeks and then asked me to leave. My son came out 20 min later with a prescription for Prozac 20mg My son will not allow me to talk about the medication and does not want to talk about it.
My son had come home from a 12 hr shift tonight and I asked him if he has started on the prozac He refuses to answer me He wants to be left alone he tells me it is none of my business and to stay out of his business. He got really angry and said I was trying to make him feel guilty I tried to explain where I was coming from - and he no longer wants to talk to me or my husband about anything. He says to stay out of his life. We are too controlling he says. He actually stopped talking to his Dad a couple of weeks ago. Won't acknowledge him at all - those 2 use to be so close. It's devastating to watch.
We found a book in his room today when we were trying to find the medication . He had made a journal entry from yesterday 50 reasons why not to eat and how to make yourself full without eating. He is 139.5 lbs and 5'6" (says that he is about in 53%ile range) He took pictures of himself and recorded all his measurements. He is spiraling out of control and I really don't know what to do This has all come on so fast. Can you help me at all of what we should do here?