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Suggest Treatment For Acute Anxiety
Question: I am in a great relationship with my partner, however his 19 yo son is making my life a misery, he has been kicked out of our home on several occasions due to his appalling behaviour toward his Father and myself. But his father caves in an allows him to return after many empty promises, but nothing changes He has a total lack of regard and respect towards us both and has deliberately try to ruin, what is a rock solid relationship between us for the last ten years. He is now begging to come back, but he has not changed or sought help in anyway, even though we have made this a condition of his return , he has learned nothing in the mean time. the anxiety & fear I feel when he is near me is so bad that I am sure he has come very close to giving my a heart attack (literally) and I am panicking that his father will cave and allow him to return again.Much of what has happened to me I have kept to myself because I don't wish to break his fathers heart, but I know what this boy is capable of , In the past he has held a knife to my throat and has tried to glass me, is constantly threating me with physical violence not to mention the daily verbal abuse he puts me through. I have to take anti anxiety meds just to try to cope...doesn't seem to help much, he has been arrested 3 times for drink driving in the last 18 months but has never held a drivers licence , he has been barred from two nightclub districts to punching innocent people and shows absolutely no remorse for his behaviour at all and does, in fact, tell his father I am to blame for all his trouble. Just the thought of him coming back is causing me much fear. He also has issues with Drugs & alcohol and has destroyed much of our house
Brief Answer:
i think you should tell your partner all this before his son comes home
Detailed Answer:
Hello,
I have read your problem completely and can very well understand the conditon you are going through.
I would try to give you an understanding of what he is and how you can help your self.
1. As for the description you have given , I feel the boy has some personality problem...may be antisocial presonality problem. He is aggressive, does not abide by social norms and is into drugs too. It is evident that he bullies and also lies many times.
I think it is difficult for him to change without help and such people dont accept help easily and is therefore difficult to cure them.
2 . The most important thing is that you have to let your partner know what his son is doing and what he had done to you in past, before he enters the house this time.
I feel that you should do it becuase this time he can be more dangerous to you...he already had tried to harm you physically last time.
3. You are right that learning about the deeds of his son, your partner would feel bad...but I think its is far more important for him to know. I also feel that your partner is aware of his son's attitude, even if not his extent.
Atleast by letting him know what had happened to you in the past would make him think again if that person should enter the house or not.
Basically his son is cheating on him too!!
so, as per me- your partner should know everything important before hand.
4 you have to take anti anxiety medicine coz of fear and streas. You havent told if your partner knows about them...?
you can also tell him this. It would help him to understand the gravity of the situation.
I think, if the boy is so nototrious- then he is a possible danger to both of you. So, as only you are aware of his extent of voilence..and not your partner- the onus of keeping both of you safe falls on you.
If I have had any such patient I would have suggested the same.
You can also discuss these points with your treating team as well and proceed.
If however he comes to live with you - please make sure to have a safety zone and try not to be alone with him at home.
Wish you good health and speedy recovery!
I hope the reply is useful for you.
Please feel free to ask more queries. I will be gald to help.
Dr. Manisha Gopal
MD Neuropsychiatry
i think you should tell your partner all this before his son comes home
Detailed Answer:
Hello,
I have read your problem completely and can very well understand the conditon you are going through.
I would try to give you an understanding of what he is and how you can help your self.
1. As for the description you have given , I feel the boy has some personality problem...may be antisocial presonality problem. He is aggressive, does not abide by social norms and is into drugs too. It is evident that he bullies and also lies many times.
I think it is difficult for him to change without help and such people dont accept help easily and is therefore difficult to cure them.
2 . The most important thing is that you have to let your partner know what his son is doing and what he had done to you in past, before he enters the house this time.
I feel that you should do it becuase this time he can be more dangerous to you...he already had tried to harm you physically last time.
3. You are right that learning about the deeds of his son, your partner would feel bad...but I think its is far more important for him to know. I also feel that your partner is aware of his son's attitude, even if not his extent.
Atleast by letting him know what had happened to you in the past would make him think again if that person should enter the house or not.
Basically his son is cheating on him too!!
so, as per me- your partner should know everything important before hand.
4 you have to take anti anxiety medicine coz of fear and streas. You havent told if your partner knows about them...?
you can also tell him this. It would help him to understand the gravity of the situation.
I think, if the boy is so nototrious- then he is a possible danger to both of you. So, as only you are aware of his extent of voilence..and not your partner- the onus of keeping both of you safe falls on you.
If I have had any such patient I would have suggested the same.
You can also discuss these points with your treating team as well and proceed.
If however he comes to live with you - please make sure to have a safety zone and try not to be alone with him at home.
Wish you good health and speedy recovery!
I hope the reply is useful for you.
Please feel free to ask more queries. I will be gald to help.
Dr. Manisha Gopal
MD Neuropsychiatry
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Prasad
Answered by
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