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Dr. Andrew Rynne
MD
Dr. Andrew Rynne

Family Physician

Exp 50 years

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Suggest Treatment For Lack Of Sexual Feelings Towards Partner

Hello Doctor. My problem is I'm married, but have almost no sexual feelings for my wife anymore. We have been married for 5 years now. We have no kids. I'm 36, she's 41. We're both slightly out of shape but I don't think that is the issue, since I started losing my sex drive towards her almost from the first months. I see women I feel attracted to in many places. I love my wife. I don't want to hurt her and I'm not thinking about cheating on her, is just that I fantasize with being single so I can pursue those sexy women I've met at work or seen in the street or anywhere else. When we engage in sex, I don't have problem getting an erection and orgasming, I actually enjoy it, my problem is that I have to make an effort to engage in sex with her, since I almost never do it out of desire anymore, but mainly because is hurtful for her, since she does want sex, and because is not good to stay too long not having sex in a relationship. Anyway, we do it like once a month. There was this co-worker I was very attracted to (a couple of years younger than me) and I had very strong sexual feelings towards her. I believe she felt more or less the same way. Anyway, I never tried anything, never initiated anything and although I desired sexual contact with her very much, I wouldn't have done it even if she suggested it, since it wouldn't be fair to my wife and I also know that that might be just an illusion, and that even if I got in a relationship with that woman and leave my wife and everything, it might just happen then same thing with her over the course of time. Also, what I'd REALLY like is to feel that way towards my wife again! I tried thinking more sexually and trying to be conscious to do it more often, but I just don't feel that desire. What can I do?
Thu, 25 Aug 2016
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Psychiatrist 's  Response
hello dear , welcome to HCM
you said you are not having sexual feeling towards your wife but you get attracted to every other women.one simple thing you can do is that you both start some daily exercise like light yoga and some evening or morning walk. have proper balanced diet with fruits and salad.while having sex with your wife you can imagine and fantasize other women you get attracted to.if problem persist you can consult a psychiatrist.
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Suggest Treatment For Lack Of Sexual Feelings Towards Partner

hello dear , welcome to HCM you said you are not having sexual feeling towards your wife but you get attracted to every other women.one simple thing you can do is that you both start some daily exercise like light yoga and some evening or morning walk. have proper balanced diet with fruits and salad.while having sex with your wife you can imagine and fantasize other women you get attracted to.if problem persist you can consult a psychiatrist.