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How can I make a decision that can change my daughters life, please suggest

How can I make a decision that can change my daughters life 4ever when both of my options r life threatening? I am devastated my worst fears came true. To try to make a long story short. Today I was told that my daughter needs a spinal surgery , the worst part is she has a heart disease among other complications( Trisomy 18 ). The surgery could be life threatning cuz of her heart. But her curvature has progressed 25 degrees in 6 months. It was 75 degrees now its 95 degrees in a curvature greater than 70 degrees there could be lung and heart damage. Breathing is compromising because the rib cage may press against the lung and heart, meaning that if I don t do the surgery the outcome will not be good, but if I do im also taking a risk. Are the benefits better than the risks? I don t know. I have no support whatsoever making this decision her dads not in the picture, my parents don t approve anything that ll hurt her( ignoring the real facts she s already hurtin and could get worst) and my husband well lets just put it this way its not his flesh and blood so he doesn t feel what I do. Any recommended websites on how to cope with this situation would be very helpful. I forgot to mention she s already overcome the prognosis she turned 8 in March(usual lifespand is 90% lives up to 1yr).
Asked On : Fri, 18 Dec 2009
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  User's Response
honey first let me tell you that no matter what choice you make you are going to have to live with it. my son is disabled and if i had to choose to have a surgery that would make it easier for him to breath but had the risks your daughter had i would feel the same way but i would choose the one that would let her have a long life.the outcome of the surgery may not be so good but what is the outcome of not doing it? you have said that her breathing is already bad and as i see it things may still get worse. DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST. no one can blame you for loving your daughter. as for support i want you to know that you have my support in what ever you choose and you can email me and instant message me any time even if you just need to talk... I wish you well and God bless. you will be in my prayers
Answered: Fri, 18 Dec 2009
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