Question: Dr Seikhoo Bishnoi please. I am so sad. XXXXXXX obviously doesn't love me anymore and my friend got mad at me because I don't want to be alone all day alone at her business for which I am not getting paid. I have still not heard back if they are going to refund my tickets for Israel and am afraid they will not because I was i the hospital for depression. they usually do not refund money in that case though I would have been out if that was the only reason I was in the hospital. I ended up havibg heart failure while I was in the psychiatric unit. I feel like XXXXXXX doesn't even remember that he once was in love with me and miss XXXXXXX so much.I can't stand being around XXXXXXX anymore...she is so hard to be around and is the only person I see much. Why doesn't XXXXXXX even miss me? Do schizophrenics forget the people they once were in love with...I am so alone and so sad

I do try to keep busy but am alone all day almost every day. So my days are very lonely though I am not as sad as I was about XXXXXXX because I have given up all hope that I will ever hear from him or see him again. I miss XXXXXXX so very much and am afraid I will never get to Israel..I know if I get there and can have XXXXXXX with me and work on my M.Div to become a rabbi I will feel better but nothing good is happening and I almost never see anyone.

Once we get to Israel I will call or email XXXXXXX maybe. Do you think he even remembers who I am anymore? Maybe schizophrenics just forget those who love them like XXXXXXX did me. Is that true? It sure seems like he forgot me...
XXXXXXX just disappeared and got scary. I had a suicide hotline worker promise me that he will end up in the system meaning he is very likely to end up in the mental health system in this country. i get afraid he will get shot or killed but am so sad that he just forgot me completely. I am doing things but knowing he doesnt even remember me is so hard when he used to love me or said he did anyway.

He hasn't forgotten me then? I am having such a hard time with this with Chanukah coming up again twelve months after I first contacted you about him...in fact it is weird that he hasn't turned me in to the authorities because as XXXXXXX said, he reads his emails over and over and over again in a very paranoid fashion. I went back over the discussions I have had with you this fall and there were at least two times I emailed him and he never called the authorities. XXXXXXX thinks that means that he still loves me or he would have tried to cause me to have more legal problems but he hasn't done that. Still that doesn't help me because the holidays are coming up again and still no XXXXXXX ten months after he filed the injunction on me...I have written a short email i might or might not send him if we ever get out of this country but it looks like I cannot become a citizen of Israel because my grandnother's birth certificate doesn't show that she is Jewish...still I have Israel in my heart and without XXXXXXX here I would rather be in Israel than in the US..
XXXXXXX said that the other day he started crying really hard in the shower and after he got out he started to draw the Star of XXXXXXX all over the bathroom mirror. His Dad finally sees that we need to go to Israel and XXXXXXX needs to live with me...I am in such terrible financial shape Dr B because I have the same expenses with almost $1000 less a month to work with without XXXXXXX here with me...I am sorry I am like a chicken with its head cut off or its heart cut out is more like it...but my heart is beating strong and I am having no problems with it like when I nearly died earlier this summer in XXXXXXX .I am just praying we get the money back so we can move to Israel...I miss that country and even if i cannot prove I am Jewish now I might be able to do it there....it is easier....I don't know if I will ever see XXXXXXX again but even XXXX said what you said that the delusions he is having make it impossible for him to even reach out to me...I guess then that the three of you must be right....mostly I am okay but with the holidays coming up and XXXXXXX and XXXXXXX not here it really hurts me a lot..I am trying to think of school and how i will do that and with what money..as you know it costs money to go to school to be a rabbi or a doctor...but it is something I really feel strongly about...thanks for being there for me again this time of year..