hello and welcome to health care magic,
I am Dr Sriram nathan, an ENT surgeon and I will try to help you out with your problem.
It seems to me that your husband has developed an acute infection of the drum of the ear and may be even the canal area. This happens when you constantly pick on the area and is treatable though very painful.
You must do these:
1. Hot fomentation over the area
2. No head bath for the next one week
3. Antibiotic medication like the amox-clav 625 mg twice daily for five days along with pain killers like levocetrizine in consultation with your doctor.
4. Injectable medications if the symptom are very severe
Once the infection is controlled then you must meet an ENT surgeon for the proper and permanent cure for your ear problem
The gold piece surgery points to an ossicular reconstruction. You need for the infection to clear and then get an audiometry
and CT of the temporal bones and get back to me or any ENT with the reports
You must also keep your husbands blood sugar levels under check
Dr Sriram nathan