I'm 17, 120 pounds, female, no medical history/issues I am aware of. I've been abusing Benadryl for over 2 years. I take 10-15 per day, usually 5-10 per dose. I can't stop taking it. It makes me feel calm, stable, and collected. But it's taking over my life and I feel trapped. When I try to stop and quit, I go insane, I get mood swings, I get extremely agitated and depressed, and eventually I'm back to taking Benadryl. I want to quit, I need to quit. But I really don't know how and I can't do it by myself. I need help, but I don't know where to get this help. My family is not aware of this, nor do I want them to know. I need to talk to someone who can help me, and I cannot talk to the counselors at my school, as I don't feel comfortable with them. I just want to be back to normal where I can feel and deal with my emotions instead of numbing them and putting my health in danger. Also, It would be helpful to know what kind of damage I may have already done from the past 2 years. Thank you for your time.