I have gone through your query regarding your hearing problem along with pain which you felt during ear cleaning. Though you have family history of heard of hearing.
I would like to tell you in your case few things are to be considered-
(1) As you said you are having wax in your ear,and you have put wax softener than after your ear cleaning was done by yourself, so there is possibility of incomplete cleaning and remaining wax if touches the ear drum than always diminished hearing is observe.
(2) If your ear is free of wax than I will think for advising you for Audiometery to find out severity and type of deafness
A thorough clinical examination of ear by an E.N.T.specialist is now becomes must to rule out Wax and Perforation of drum,and for co-relation of Audiometeric interpretation. This way one can find out the reason of your hearing loss
.than after plan for treatment.
I hope you are now clear about your query.