Hello, and I hope I can help you today. Libido is a complicated issue in relationships, and it can have some physical causes (like a side effect of birth control) but it is also related to your relationship with your partner, the stresses of everyday life, and your comfort with sex in general. If you are overworked and tired all the time, or feeling stressed and worried about your boyfriend cheating, it certainly can affect your motivation towards sex. If you do not feel good when you have sex or have orgasms, it certainly can decrease your desire for sex and your partner. Self-exploration and fantasy can help improve your own ability to know what is pleasurable for you and then you can guide your partner accordingly. And furthermore, the level of desire and attraction for your partner can also affect your libido. Problems with libido are not unusual in long-term relationships and especially if the relationship itself has any problems. I know you ve stopped the pill before, and said you really didn t notice a difference, but it may help, especially if you aren t having sex much anyway. You can use condoms or talk to a GYN doctor about other non-hormonal methods of contraception. And really try to figure out for yourself if you do not have any desire for sex, or sex with your boyfriend in particular. If he is your only lifetime partner and you do not feel pleasure having sex with him, the problem is not you, but your partner. I hope this information was helpful and reassuring to you. Best wishes, Dr. Brown