Hi, Thanks for asking. First of all, be POSITIVE and rest assured that you have not done anything wrong and unfortunately you were used to the sadistic desires of some antisocials. I understand your concern of becoming habituated to sexual feelings by fingering. Masturbation is normal in both the sexes to some extent irrespective of the marital status and it will not affect your sex life and your husband can not know, unless you tell him.(Ofcourse, fingering is one of the ways of satisfying a woman in bed, suggested by sexologist s also). But, as you have mentioned fingering causes pain inside vagina, the lining of the vagina may get inflammed and secondarily infected, affecting the hygiene of the female reproductive tract(Vagina, cervix and uterus etc.,) Because any local infection may ascend further and may adversely affect the fertility and sometimes the foetus too, when you conceive and deliver. so, please keep in mind about the LOCAL HYGEINE of the GENITAL TRACT. Also for overcoming the problem of habitual finger sex, I suggest, 1. Please do regular Physical exercise. 2. Engage yourself with some hobbies of your choice like Stamp collection etc., 3. Divert your mind with some regular badminton or table tennis and other destressing activities like 20 minutes of Pranayama or yoga 4. ALWAYS keep yourself engaged in the company of your friends 5. If you are not working, find a suitable job for you so that to divert your mind and it gives the financial freedom or security which itself boosts your morale. take care you should do well. regards, Dr.K.Muthukumar MD