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Depression. Have attempted suicide. Codeine can be dangerous if?

How can I change the way I feel about myself? I hate myself sooooo much. I don t believe I suffer from depression even tho I ve spent the last 3 months in hospital for attempting suicide . I am out on leave and have to go back tomorrow but all I want to do is end it. I don t want to do it here at home with my family as I don t want them to see it, my death will be hard enough for them... I am hoping a massive codeine OD will do it and I know roughly 500-800mg of codeine can be fatal so I am aiming to take around 1200mg if I can get my hands on it. I know it is selfish but I honestly don t know how I can continue living feeling the way I do. These few days home from the psych ward were supposed to be good for me but all it has done was remind me why I wanted to die in the first place. I don t want to hurt my kids by dying either and they are the only reason I am still here but I feel having me the way I am will only hurt them more. I did not choose to fall pregnant, both my children are the result of rape, and I continued my pregnancies because I do not believe in abortion and I love my kids with all my heart . I just don t know what to do anymore, I don t know how to live.
Asked On : Sat, 29 Dec 2012
Answers:  3 Views:  110
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Psychiatrist 's  Response
We consider active suicidal thoughts as a psychiatric emergency. My advice for you would be to contact your local psychiatrist or suicide helpline immediately and try to ensure you are re-admitted to the psychiatric ward. Treatment and alleviation of depressive symptoms require time and the symptom relief would only be in a graded/phased manner. Wish you speedy recovery.
Dr Sundar Gnanavel
Answered: Sun, 30 Dec 2012
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General & Family Physician Dr. Himanshu Pandey's  Response
Hi r.d. Sakoswki ! Please listen to me last time ! Belive me or not, you have still mother in you. Don't look around for sympathy, every body has their own guilty feeling. Make two face ! By one ,say yes i will think and later think what is good for you. Now at present what to do ! If you are taking antidepressant medicine then stop taking it because in long term these medicine gives sucidal thoughts. just don't think too long, find a work or job play with your kids they needs you. Children are much attach to mother then father. Make a hobbies, do exercise, watch movies, listen music. Enjoy the time you have. Take care. Be smart. Bye.
Answered: Sat, 29 Dec 2012
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Psychiatrist Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar's  Response
Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.

I can understand what you are going through and how distressing it can be to go through such difficult and trying times. Firstly, the suicidal thoughts, self-hatred and a negative view about life indicate that you are going through a depression. You also seem to have suffered from intense emotional trauma due to the rape. I understand that it seems pointless to live and that there is no more hope. But don't get dejected and give up. I appreciate you for having the will and courage to pull through these immense difficulties because of your children. As you have mentioned it is important that have come this far, you don't give up and continue to fight and cope up with life, both for yourself and your children's well being.

There is lot of help available, and with aprropriate treatment - with medication and counselling, you will surely be able to come out of this depressive phase. So, please seek professional help to mangage your difficulties and tide away this difficult period in your life. Please remember that you should remain hopeful at least for the sake of your children. I would advise you to keep taking to someone close and keep them aware of your suicidal thoughts. Do not stay alone by yourself and if necessary, re-admit yourself to the hospital.

Wish you all the best.

Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar
Consultant Psychiatrist
Answered: Sun, 30 Dec 2012
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