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    What causes loss of lubrication and pain during intercourse?

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Posted on Wed, 25 May 2016 in Sexual Health
Question: Hi I had been married 15 days ago.Started having sex with my wife 5 days back.Initially it was hard to insert my pennis into her but after two days with some pain in my pennis I was able to insert,she was also lubricating.But after 5 days she was not lubricating,I was even using my fingers to foreplay but no use.This is the first time we having sex in our life time,so I request to please help us to enjoy our family like.What should we do so that we don't have pain while intercorse, also reason for her not lubricating,should we give break for some days to intercorse.What should we do please help us.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar 37 minutes later
Brief Answer:
Adequate foreplay is required

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Thanks for suing Healthcaremagic.

From the available description it appears that because of inexperience you are getting problem. In fact many of the newly wed couples get this problem due to lack of sex education in our country.

Not lubricating is clear sign that there is inadequate stimulation/interest.


Although it may be considered immoral in some of our societies to see porn but I think you need some education with help of porn as no other option for sex education is available.

The second but most important thing in having fulfilling relationship is adequate foreplay. You should have at least 20-30 minutes of quality foreplay before engaging in penetrative sex.

Thirdly it will be appropriate to use some external lubricants. Durex have excellent collection of lubricants and you can order one as per your taste and choice.



I hope this helps you.
Thanks and regards.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Prasad
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Ashok Kumar 22 minutes later
Thanks for the reply.
I am just thinking why she is so dry....I am not able to touch her...she feels lot of pain.Do you say seeing Porn will solve the issue.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar 14 minutes later
Brief Answer:
Seeing porn is to understand sexuality

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX ,
Thanks for reverting back to me.

Seeing porn is not a magic but it may guide you to have proper sex. I do not mean you need to see xxx even xx or x may be sufficient to understand the tips of proper sex.

As I communicated earlier the reason for being dry is either no interest or no proper stimulation or may be due to fear. It is possible that during initial days she experienced some pain and that could be reason for not able to lubricate.

The other reason like no interest is possible because of unrealistic expectation from sex but not able to fulfill those expectations during the initial 15 days.

I hope this guides you further for fulfilling sex life.
Thanks
Hope I am able to answer your concerns.
If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for my future patients.
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Thanks and regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Deepak
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Ashok Kumar 13 minutes later
Thanks a lot for your time...
One more query.Do you suggest me to give break for some days. ..as we had continuosly having intercorse for 6 days...or we can continue having sex.
Even I am experiencing pain while inserting...what measure I should take...
doctor
Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar 21 minutes later
Brief Answer:
Do non penetrative sex

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Thanks for reverting back to me.

I will recommend you the non penetrative sex rather than complete break. Do everything except penetration.
This will give you the opportunity to understand need of each other and you will be subjected to foreplay in proper manner.

Having said this sex should be spontaneous rather than out of compulsion. Do it when you feel doing rather than doing it as a routine procedure.

I hope this clarifies further.
Thanks and regaards
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Yogesh D
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Ashok Kumar 18 hours later
Hello Doctor,
More queries pls don't mind.Using lubricating gel will it have any side effects, has any effect on baby creation or any other effects pls help me.

Also I am daily having my sperm flow,will the amount changes If I have daily flow, is this ok or any changes I should do.

Doctor any other information which will help us to have a nice sex life pls share with me.Thanks in advance.
doctor
Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar 5 minutes later
Brief Answer:
Most lubricants are safe

Detailed Answer:
Dear XXXXXXX
Thanks for reverting back to me.

The gels from durex are well reputed and do not contain any harmful things. After all sex is pleasure and not for problems so you can get assured that they are safe,

The most common side effect is allergic reaction if you or your partner allergic to one or another content of gel. If you are not allergic than the chances of any harm are negligible. There are no bad effects on baby creation or quantity of sperm. Human produce enough sperm for regular flow and even if you have regular sex there will be no deficiency of sperm.

Regarding good sex life the most important thing is to have tension free sex. Keep your anxieties away from your bedroom.

I hope this helps you.
Thanks and regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
doctor
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Follow up: Dr. Ashok Kumar 3 minutes later
Keep your anxieties away from your bedroom.

What this means Doctor....

THANKS for the response...
doctor
Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar 2 hours later
Brief Answer:
Use your bedroom for sex or sleep

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for reverting back to me.

Keep your anxiety away from bedroom is self explanatory. I mean to say that we all have some or other problems in ur life. It may be career, education, family, society or anything which is related to our day today life. Keep those all issues away when you are intimate with your partner. I understand it is difficult but try to concentrate on love making or pleasure part of sex life than anything else.


Before you enter your bedroom keep your mind clear from every possible thing. Use your bed for sex or sleep and nothing else.

I hope this clears furher.
Thanks and regards.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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Dr. Ashok Kumar

Psychiatrist

Practicing since :2000

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