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Took medicine for insomnia. Suffering from depression and have social phobia. How to avoid this?

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Practicing since : 2003
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Sir , This is XXXXXXX... I read about the symptoms of Depression in the internet and i think i am depressed and i always feel that i have some kind of mental illness...I am not sure that why i want your help...
So my first problem is I cry often when i am alone....few years back i used to cry n think nobody loves specially the people whom i love.....but now i know there are people who loves me alot but still i cry now i cry over my sister specially....she is planning to move out to Banglore for higher whenever i think that i will be alone there would be no friends here in Delhi after she is gone....i cry....and when i am in my room i cry alot over this.....
Second prob I am doing CA...and i am failing in IPCC since last two n half years.....i am not able to concentrate on my studies.....i join coaching classes but i dont attend classes......I want to be a CA but i have lost my interest in studies.....i motivate myself n think from next time i will go to classes regularly.....and when the that day comes i think not from today i will rest and from next i will go to classes.....
Thirdly I dont have many friends I am an introvert and i dont speak much to anbody except my sister....i care alot about excess...when she goes home via trai i dont sleep at night because of tension n worry thinking whether he will be alright or not....and i know she loves me but whenever she tells her childhood friends that they are there best friend and she loves them....i feel bad.....i think why she doesnt say those things to me....and in 24 hours i think about my sis for about 4-5 day dreaming/talking to self ....what i would say to her and what would be her reaction....and what things i can do for her in future....lately i have been thinking about that when i will go to see off her to airport for banglore i would cry n tell her how much i will miss her and all that....i cry after that....but when i lest to music after that my mood gets better instantly.....
Fourthly i dont get sound sleep most the times.....few years i have been diagnosed insomnia by homeopathy doctor....i took the medicines now insomnia is somewhat gone but nowdays while i am asleep i dream alot ....and sometimes while dreaming i jerk my hands and legs ...and wake up.
I am too much into the porn movie....i masturbate a lot may be 2-3 times day sometimes and sometimes daily for a week.....i really need help about that .
And I am a shy guy.....i dont like meeting peoples.....i cant make friends....and if i make somehow i cant keep them for long.....
Thank u
Posted Fri, 15 Feb 2013 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar 2 hours later
Welcome to Healthcare Magic and thanks for your query.

From the description of your symptoms, I can make out that you are likely to be having two major problems:
1) A chronic depression, also known as "Dysthymia"
2) A personality problem - mostly dependent or schizoid personality traits.

Let me explain the reasons for arriving at these conclusions...

Firslty, the pointers to a chronic depression are:
- chronic low mood
- loneliness and frequent crying
- lack of motivation
- poor concentration
- sleeping difficulty on and off

The second issue here seems to be your personality problems:
- shy & introverted
- difficulty in mingling with others
- difficulty in making friends or sustaining relationships
- excessive dependence on one person
- extreme anxiety or separation from the person you are dependent on
All these indicate that you may be having dependent and schizoid personality traits.

Now, it is ggod that you have been able to realize your problems, and have come forward to seek help. It is important to take treatment early and take steps to change yourself because, this can result in a lot of problems in your future life, especially when you become independent, get married, go for a job, etc.

There are effective treatment options - both for your depression and for your personality problems. Treatment will include both medication as well as counselling / psychological therapies. There are safe and effective anti-depressants which can help you come out of this depression and gain more confidence and self-esteem. Similarly, there are very good counselling techniques and specific psychological therapies - like cognitive therapy, behavioural therapy, etc. which will help you aquire the social skills which you seem to be lacking. So, please consult a psychiatrist in your area for starting treatment.

Finally, regarding your masturbation, it is considered as a part of normal human sexual behaviour and is very common among young males. However, it becomes a problem when it becomes excessive and addictive. Moreover, if you dont learn to control it, it can cause problems when you get married. So, I would give you the following suggestions which will help you to overcome this problem as well as help you with your other problems also:

- Firstly, try to keep your mind active and occupied at all times. When the mind is idle, it will tend to wander away to sexual thoughts. So, keep a busy scedule so that you don't let your mind have any idle time. You can find a new hobby or learn something new (like a new sport or a musical instrument) or you can take up a new assignment at work.

- Regular physical exercise is very important. You can join a gym or have your own exercise schedule. This will not only keep your body healthy but serve as a good outlet to let out to vent out your energy.

- Make specific plans and goals for your future. You have to make short-term and long-term goals for your life and start working to achieve them. This will keep your mind foccussed and prevent your thoughts from getting scattered.

- Improve your social life. XXXXXXX friends and relatives, go for outings or group activities and keep yourself busy. If you keep staying alone in your room, you are more prone to engage in masturbation frequently.

- You can try yoga and meditation. This can help you develop a discipline of your mind and body and help you get a mastery over your thoughts and behaviours.

- Remove anything which triggers you into a mood to masturbate. For example, clear your room of all pornographic material; if you access internet pornography, you can disconnect your internet connection, etc.

- Stop thinking and feeling guilty about this all the time. The more you think about it, the more difficult it becomes to resist. So, get rid of the guilt in your mind and keep your mind relaxed.

In addition to these suggestions, personal counselling may also be required in dealing with your problem. There are effective psychological therapies like behaviour therapy, aversion therapy, hypnotherapy, etc. which can help you get control over any unwanted behaviours or practices.

So, don't worry, if you take regular treatment and counselling, plus you put in sincere efforts, you will be able to overcome all your problems soon.

Wish you all the best.

Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar
Consultant Psychiatrist
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Took medicine for insomnia. Suffering from depression and have social phobia. How to avoid this? 11 minutes later
Sir thanks ....
please may you tell me the severity of my condition and also if u may recommend me some good psychiatrist in my locality of Delhi i would be greatly thankful to u ....
Answered by Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar 13 hours later

Well, you don't seem to have a severe problem. It is treatable and I have seen many patients improve significantly. But your determination and co-operation for the treatment is essential. With appropriate treatment and counselling, you will be able to overcome your problem soon.

I can suggest Dr. XXXXXXX Mittal, who comes for consultation at Columbia Asia Hospital, Dwarka, Delhi.

Wish you all the best.

Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar
Consultant Psychiatrist
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Took medicine for insomnia. Suffering from depression and have social phobia. How to avoid this? 6 hours later
Thanks Sir for your valuable suggestions....
i am taken a appointment with Doctor XXXXXXX mittal ....
I wanted to know one more thing.....since
this is my first visit to a psychiatrist how should i prepare myself for the visit.... ???
Answered by Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar 14 hours later
Hello again XXXXXXX

Since you are a shy person and have some difficulty with new social situations, I would suggest that you can just prepare yourself a little regading how to tell the doctor your problems. If you feel that you may become anxious and forget to tell important things, you can make a small note with the important points to discuss.

Other than this, you don't have to prepare for anything. You just have to be your natural self. Only then the psychiatrist will be able to assess you correctly.

(If you have no further doubts, kindly close the query and leave a review, if you are happy with my answers)

Wish you all the best.

Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar
Consultant Psychiatrist
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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