Brief Answer:
it is likely due to performance anxiety, provide more information

Detailed Answer:
Hello,

Thanks for writing to us.

You are able to masturbate means there is no physical cause of your problem. It is likely psychological problem.

You have some erection problem. If your erection loses before ejaculation it is erectile dysfunction and if it loses after ejaculation it is premature ejaculation. Let me clarify what is exactly your problem?

- What is duration of marital life?

- Since when are you suffering from erection problem?How was sex life before problem?

- How did the problem started? Any specific incidence?

- What is frequency of sex/masturbation?

- When did you do your last successful intercourse/masturbation?

- Do you have any physical illness?

- Is there any disturbance in your relationship?

- Do you have any stress or psychological problem?

- Is morning erection present?

- Do you have nay habit of alcohol or smoking? If yes provide more details.

Sometime due to fatigue, lack of mood, situational problem or environmental changes man can fail in sex. It is normal phenomenon. However when this failure makes person apprehensive about erection, sex life is affected. This is called performance anxiety. After such failure when person actively thinks about erection or success of intercourse during sex his mind is likely diverted to such thoughts. For constant erection continuous exciting/romantic/erotic feelings should be there in mind. If mind diverted to concern about erection, erection would not be possible.

- Do you feel that there is performance anxiety in your case?

To get rid of performance anxiety help of partner is also an important aspect.
Whenever you go for sex, spare enough time in foreplay. You should not think actively about erection, your mind must be occupied with sexual/romantic feelings. During foreplay your partner should try to arouse you and note that your penis gets erection or not. When she feels that penis is sufficiently erect she herself should try to put erect penis in vagina gradually and you should continue your foreplay feelings without being conscious about erection. You must try to enjoy and only enjoy. Once penis is able to enter in vagina and strokes starts it is easy to complete successful sex.
If your partner is not aware about this situation you can do on your own. You just should try to do sex without being conscious about erection. Enjoy without thinking of your ability of maintaining erection and you will succeed or not.

Sorry for long answer but I feel it is required.

Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further.

Regards,

Dr.Chintan Solanki.

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