Question: I have been with my husband for close to 30 years now and he doesn't trust anybody, not even me. He has no close friends. I know that when we were first together I left him after my first child was 4 months old cause I felt too controlled. He came to get me and I came back to him but felt the need to let him know that when we first met I had cheated on him, when we weren't engaged or I even knew that we had any type of future together, but we were living together. I had gone to FL with my dad when I was 18 and my dad told me I had to be out within 3 months and encouraged me to live with somebody before I married them. So that's what I did. I have blamed myself this whole time and asked for his forgiveness endlessly, but here after all these years and 4 children later, homeschooling, and watching my husband not connect with anybody, not even his me his wife or his 3 daughters or son on any emotional level, I am wondering what I am doing wrong, or what has happened to him? I am a Christian woman, and I have to say that if I weren't, I'd be gone right now.
I also know his older brother has been diagnosed with bipolar. I guess I am wondering if you think this is a mental condition or if maybe he may have been sexually abused or something happened to him as a child or even as a teenager. He despises his mom, or should I say that he was very rude to her when we first met, and he can't stand his real dad. His mother did end up marrying again about a year or so later, but they divorced when he was a teenager and I know that he shared that everything went downhill after that. His mother went from boyfriend to boyfriend, and they lived in a feast or famine atmosphere. They even lived somewhere for a short time where there was no running water or electricity. I have no idea what to do for I see it affecting my children who are 26, 24, 15, and 12.