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How To Handle A Teenage Girl In Love?
Question: Dear Sir/Madam,
Need an advise for counseling my niece.She is in the age of 19 and have a boyfriend.She's very much attached to him and speaking continuously on the phone, even after repeated advise.We have noticed that she had cut her hand also after that we went and spoke to the boy's family.Boy's mother is denying the relationship and states he has not completed his studies, jobless and worthless fellow and requested for sometime to get rid of this relation, however the boy himself on one such instance stated to my brothers family saying my niece is like a sister to him, but they kept running the relationship.We are not sure how deep the relationship is however we have agreed to marry her to him only if it is her wish but she has to abide by not speaking on phone, be back in home time and concentrate on studies, but she is so adment and not listening to anyone, not even bothered about that she is hurting her family.
Though she live's in the family, but she behaves like as if she is in a PG with no respect to family.
We tried counseling her once with police when she tried fleeing from home stating she didn't like staying at home as everyone is torturing/ advising not as she is not in love with anybody, this happened 8 months back , she continued the relationship and now she stated that she is in love only.
We are totally confused on how to approach her further, as her father is heart-patient we need a counseling expert or psychiatrist advise to have amicable solution.
Regards,
XXXX
Need an advise for counseling my niece.She is in the age of 19 and have a boyfriend.She's very much attached to him and speaking continuously on the phone, even after repeated advise.We have noticed that she had cut her hand also after that we went and spoke to the boy's family.Boy's mother is denying the relationship and states he has not completed his studies, jobless and worthless fellow and requested for sometime to get rid of this relation, however the boy himself on one such instance stated to my brothers family saying my niece is like a sister to him, but they kept running the relationship.We are not sure how deep the relationship is however we have agreed to marry her to him only if it is her wish but she has to abide by not speaking on phone, be back in home time and concentrate on studies, but she is so adment and not listening to anyone, not even bothered about that she is hurting her family.
Though she live's in the family, but she behaves like as if she is in a PG with no respect to family.
We tried counseling her once with police when she tried fleeing from home stating she didn't like staying at home as everyone is torturing/ advising not as she is not in love with anybody, this happened 8 months back , she continued the relationship and now she stated that she is in love only.
We are totally confused on how to approach her further, as her father is heart-patient we need a counseling expert or psychiatrist advise to have amicable solution.
Regards,
XXXX
Brief Answer:
family counseling/therapy can solve the problem
Detailed Answer:
Hello XXXXXXX
Thanks for writing to us. I can understand your concern.
The problem you mentioned about your niece is common during this age now-a-days. Almost 50% of such cases solved as time passes and girl and boy become mature and understand the reality of relationship. Either they continue by accepting the each other or break the same with mutual understanding. In other 50% when boy/girl suffers from stress and psychological disorder or family members also feel stress, intervention of expert is needed.
She has tried to cut her hand means she was in stress and at present she is also not feeling well. She needs help of a psychiatrist. Family members have tried well to solve the issue but still final outcome is not confirmed.
First of all family members should not advise her. This can be done after she as well as concerned family members are counselled by a psychiatrist/psychologist.
To know her feelings and stress she needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist. After that if needed, medicines can be given to reduce stress otherwise only psychotherapy is required to keep her normal psychologically.
Psychiatrist has to correct the distance between family members and her. It is difficult for me without discussing with her personally to give specific guidance to you that what can be done.
So the best approach is to convince her going to psychiatrist for counselling and clarify that not only she but family as a whole needs counseling. If needed and possible that boy should also be involved in counselling process.
Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
family counseling/therapy can solve the problem
Detailed Answer:
Hello XXXXXXX
Thanks for writing to us. I can understand your concern.
The problem you mentioned about your niece is common during this age now-a-days. Almost 50% of such cases solved as time passes and girl and boy become mature and understand the reality of relationship. Either they continue by accepting the each other or break the same with mutual understanding. In other 50% when boy/girl suffers from stress and psychological disorder or family members also feel stress, intervention of expert is needed.
She has tried to cut her hand means she was in stress and at present she is also not feeling well. She needs help of a psychiatrist. Family members have tried well to solve the issue but still final outcome is not confirmed.
First of all family members should not advise her. This can be done after she as well as concerned family members are counselled by a psychiatrist/psychologist.
To know her feelings and stress she needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist. After that if needed, medicines can be given to reduce stress otherwise only psychotherapy is required to keep her normal psychologically.
Psychiatrist has to correct the distance between family members and her. It is difficult for me without discussing with her personally to give specific guidance to you that what can be done.
So the best approach is to convince her going to psychiatrist for counselling and clarify that not only she but family as a whole needs counseling. If needed and possible that boy should also be involved in counselling process.
Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to help further.
Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Answered by
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