Brief Answer:
Explained below.
Detailed Answer:
Hi XXXXXXX
First of all, you need not apologise for not following my advice and neither were you questions irritating. Whatever I had written was just a suggestion to help you take an informed decision and not an order. I am really relieved that your husband is now aware of all that has happened and is with you. It is great that whatever you now do will be with his support, and that takes care of half the problem.
You are producing a lot of milk because the suckling is more than previously. The body is sensitive to suckling and produces milk in response to it. If you had been feeding only your baby, then the milk would have been less. There is no need to do anything with the extra milk. You will have to throw it off.
Coming to your questions, you cannot do much to prevent the development of sexual feelings in your step-son. The only thing you can do is to draw a line beyond which you will not appease him. For example, if you agree to feed him, refuse to do so if he bites you. Tell him that he hurt you and so you will not feed him. He will then stop biting you. If he asks you to undress in front of him, refuse to do so. If he cries, tell him that you will feed him only if he is a good boy and doesn't cry. Using these tactics will help you to ensure that he does not manipulate you and increase his demands. Similarly refuse to let him open your blouse. Make him behave the way you want him to in return for feeding him. If he refuses, tell him that he is refusing because he is not your real son and he does not love you, and so why should you feed him? Simply speaking, turn the tables on him and manipulate him exactly the way he was manipulating you, though you will be doing this for his own good. If you can do this smartly, in a few days you will notice a change in his behavior and it will become easier for you to handle him.
Regarding the feeding style, since he is a big boy, whatever position you choose will not be very comfortable. In my opinion, go by your instincts and do as it feels more comfortable.
For the nipple injuries, as long as they are minor abrasions, you need not apply any specific creams as they may enter your baby's body when he is breastfed. Avoid feeding from the injured side if possible, till it heals. Keep the area clean to prevent any infection. And as I mentioned earlier, make your step-son understand that if he injures you, you will become angry with him and not feed him.
In addition, when you start weaning off your baby after a couple of months, avoid breast-feeding him when your step-son is around. In his presence, bottle feed the baby so that you can have an excuse for not feeding your step-son. Gradually wean your step-son off too, saying that if he wishes you can give him milk (cow's, not yours) in a bottle like your own baby takes.
You just have to put the message across that you will not let him manipulate you. Be firm and keep your husband informed. Things will gradually turn out to be fine.
I do not think you need to ask any other specialist regarding this. You can close the query. If you need me in future, you can contact me directly on this site at WWW.WWWW.WW
Best wishes.
Dr Preeti Parakh
MD Psychiatry
Note: For further guidance on mental health,
Click here.