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How can performance anxiety and poor erection be treated?

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Psychiatrist
Practicing since : 2000
Answered : 2535 Questions
Question
how do I get over performance anxiety? it messes with my erections.
Mon, 16 Apr 2018 in Sexual Health
 
 
Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar 2 hours later
Brief Answer:
It needs counseeling

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for using Healthcaremagic.

I read your query and understand your concerns.

First of all I like to inform you that performance anxiety can be handled with use of right psycho therapeutic approach. In my own experience around 70% of individuals report dramatic improvement in erections once the psychotherapy is started leading to decrease in performance anxiety.

Below here I am delineating few of the strategies which will help you in the problem.

Firstly get rid of thoughts that you may be sexually inadequate or your doubts that you may not be able to perform properly. This is because performance anxiety, feelings of sexual indequacy, self-doubts, guilt, past negative sexual experiences, poor communication / understanding with the partner, etc. can all affect sexual functioning and performance. Removing such ideas will eliminate the majority of causes for your poor sexual performance. Removing the person's doubts and fears, and improving his self-confidence levels will definitely help in improving sexual performance. Remember that sex is not just a physical act but also a psychological process involving an expression of emotions, intimacy and love. So, just involve yourself in those feelings and stop focusing on your "performance" alone. Once you do that, then I assure you that your sexual performance will automatically improve.

Most importantly, performance anxiety soon becomes a "vicious cycle" That is, anxiety leads to poor performance and poor performance then leads to further anxiety and this keeps on increasing.

One more problem responsible for performance anxiety is inadequate sexual arousal. When the person is not properly aroused, the blood flow to the penis is not maximal, and so, after a few strokes, the erection weakens and ejaculation occurs. The way to tackle this is not to rush into intercourse quickly, but wait till you get fully aroused. So, increase and spice-up your foreplay. Make sure that you initiate penetration only after both of you are fully turned on. Good foreplay not only arouses you but also sparks off the mood in your partner. So, when she is also aroused and involved, then things keep flowing smoothly and effortlessly, and you don't have to be constantly anxious if you are satisfying your partner or not.

Distract yourself stop "monitoring" your sexual performance. Try putting on some romantic music or mild lighting while you make love. Think about the things that turn you on. Taking your mind off of your sexual performance can remove the worries that are stopping you from getting fully aroused.

Wish you all the best in your sexual health.

I hope this helps you further.
If you have any further query, I would be glad to help you.
If not, you may close the discussion and if possible you may rate the answer for my future patients.
In future if you wish to contact me directly, you can use the below mentioned link:
http://doctor.healthcaremagic.com/doctors/dr-ashok-kumar/67386
Thanks and regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
 
Follow-up: How can performance anxiety and poor erection be treated? 17 hours later
my problem is getting hard or fully erect. I have a lot of random hook ups and not intimate relationships so I feel weird having a talk with girls to feel comfortable. I'm average size and I'm totally okay with it. however, when I'm not fully hard i feel small and get in my own head. I have a hard time letting a girl touch me down there because I think that if I do when I'm not hard, she will think I am small.
 
 
Answered by Dr. Ashok Kumar 13 hours later
Brief Answer:
Follow up

Detailed Answer:
Hello,
Thanks for follow up.

First of all I like to inform you that size does not matter and same is true for most educated persons. Since you are comfortable with your size I do not find any value for not letting the girls touch you fearing you of small size.

In other words both the statements are contradictory and you need to acknowledge that you have the unfounded fear which need to be addressed.

Following this I will draw your attention to last paragraphs of my earlier post to you. It is important to distract and stop monitoring your sexual performance. This is worst thing you can have considering the performance anxiety.

I hope this helps you further.
Thanks and regards.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
 
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