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Have a erection problem, not getting hard. Suggestion?

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General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2009
Answered : 6185 Questions
i have a erection problem cuz get hard anymore unless i watcch porn or read any sexy story
Posted Sat, 19 Oct 2013 in Sexual Problems
Answered by Dr. Chobufo Ditah 1 hour later

Thank you so much for this query.
I am so sorry to hear about your difficulties with having erections unless you watch porn or read something sexy. Nothing kils a man moral more XXXXXXX the feeling of been unable to be good at having sex. It happens to many and you are not alone. The good news is, it is often psychological than actually representing an illness.

I am confident and feel comfortable telling you that the erection pathway is intact. To get any erections, you must have a stimulus. If books and porns can turn you on,, then a girl you love and feel comfortable having sex with will also turn you on. However, if there are any worries, fears or misunderstanding in your relationship, then you will feel unsecured or not confident enough. These will keep you away from the ex affair itself and you cannot get any erections. So please address all of these before becoming too worried if any lingers. The bad thing about this is it kills your confidence, makes you look at yourself as a failure and actually make future attempts more likely to fail than not. You need to believe in yourself again.

My advice is this:
Get a stable partner, build a trusted relationship where you both feel comfortable and secured, move on progressive and give it a try. It will work. Tee only reason why it will not work is if you have fears that make sexual encounters frightening. If there are any past experiences that have scared you, please share them with me so that I can address them and help you get over them.

I hope this addresses your query fully. If you have some more questions related to the above query to ask, feel free and i will provide answers happily.
I wish you good health.
Dr, Ditah, MD.
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Follow-up: Have a erection problem, not getting hard. Suggestion? 1 hour later
I'm not married yet and was masturbating for 7years 3,4 times a was not like dis before then why alkaline of a sudden
Answered by Dr. Chobufo Ditah 34 minutes later
Thank you so much for this follow up precision.

Erections need your mindset, stimulus and an intact pathway for the nerve impulse to travel and assure this. If porns can turn you on, then all is intact.

Please, all you need is to get your mindset back into it. Are you having a sexual partner? Have you failed to have erections when with a girl you for real desire?
Masturbation has in no way affected this act of having erections. It is purely psychological. If you put all in place with the rest frame of mind, you are as good as you were 7years ago if not better.

Its sudden nature make it more likely psychological than not. Pathological causes start and progress over time and not overnight. Check and look at what is happening different and adjust it. This will solve the problem. If you may want to share with me, then I may be able to help you more.

Hope this helps. Wish you well. Build your confidence, address the setbacks and attain even higher heights with your erections.
Dr. Ditah, MD.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Have a erection problem, not getting hard. Suggestion? 1 hour later
sir i want to let you know that everything till December baat year but at that time i was taking accutane for my ance which one of the dermatalogist prescribed me and.i was on 40mg for a month and then 20mg for 2week's is it because of that? if it ia then how can i recover my self please tell me Im so sad and shy about this problem
Answered by Dr. Chobufo Ditah 20 hours later
Hi and thanks for this follow up information.

Accutane is not a possible cause of this problem.

The solution to this problem lies within you. Beating the feeling of being unable to have an erection is the first and most important thing to do. You have technically hypnotized yourself. Tagging and seeing yourself as failure though i have assured you that this is a psychological cause is not helping. Feeling you cannot have erections, feeling sad and shy about it are the same recipes that prepare you for the next failure. How can you get emotionally and psychological involved in having erections when all you think about is failure? You must beat it by telling yourself as often as possible that you are normal.

I understand this may be difficult to do all by yourself at times. What I will suggest is you may consider meeting with a psychiatrist or sexologist to address this problem. I am confident when you beat the feeling of failure, you will be success.

Hope this helps. feel free to contact us again.
I wish you well.
Dr Ditah, D.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Have a erection problem, not getting hard. Suggestion? 15 hours later
thanks for replying.

Actually it's like when i see a female she doesn't attract me at all XXXXXXX looking at her butt don't make me hard i dint even get sex feelings in my mind and when i take a piss it doesn't pressure at the end like it you to penis is to soft....usually when a girl use to give me kiss on phone i would get so Damn hard but now i can't even if i think about all that...please Dr help me will this problem ever go away
Answered by Dr. Chobufo Ditah 15 hours later
Hi and thanks for this follow up question.

I totally understand how devastated you are by this difficulty getting an erection. The problem is real and the way out is to stop thinking about your failure and start being positive. As I have told you, if you don't have that genuine feeling and 100% mental involvement in a lady, she cannot turn you on. It is for the same reason that a lady you consider ugly cannot turn you on. So you have to change the way you see ladies. They should appear attractive to you or you should look for the lady you genuinely feel about. Otherwise, you will be unable to have erections. Is it because you are sick? NO. It is simply because your mindset is not conditioned to get sexually involved and so you cannot have any erections.

The problem will certainly go away. What makes it even worse now is the fact that you cannot get over it. When you stop thinking of being unable to have erections and seeing ladies attractive, then your solution is eminent. No one else but you can choose to be attracted to a lady. No one else but you can also choose to get mentally committed to having a sexual feeling towards a lady. This is why you hold the keys to your solution. Stop thinking I cannot, start thinking I can and get mentally involved into it. This is the solution.

Hope this helps.
Wish you good health.
Dr. Ditah, MD.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Have a erection problem, not getting hard. Suggestion? 17 days later
hello sir actually Im looking for cure in my problem...i got fordyce spots on corner of my lips because of accutane and i really need's been 8month's and they are getting worst...i don't understand what to told me to do laser treatment but there are chance for scaring iw there any other way to get rid of these fordyce spots. .please sir reply me soon
Answered by Dr. Chobufo Ditah 16 hours later
Hi and thanks for posting.

fordyce spots are noninfectious and generally need no treatment. However some people find it unattractive and seek medical care. Laser treatment to destroy them is the best practice as of date but results are not 100% guaranteed. recurrence can occur as well a hypertrophy of the scar.

There is no other better method as of date than laser therapy. If you really want to try and deal with it, then accept the laser therapy bearing at heart the possible complications.

The best way out would have been you being able to accept it and just feel comfortable.

Wish you the best as you consider ways of handling this.

Dr. Ditah, MD
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Have a erection problem, not getting hard. Suggestion? 2 hours later
ok thank you sir
Answered by Dr. Chobufo Ditah 45 minutes later
Thank you for using our services and glad to know we we of help.
All the best.
Dr. Ditah, MD
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Have a erection problem, not getting hard. Suggestion? 1 hour later
sir what about my erections dysfunction Im still having problem with it....i was with this girl lastnite and when i was kissing her i got so hard but when she was giving me a blowjob i got soft and when i try to have sex my penis was still soft. ..why is this help me
Answered by Dr. Chobufo Ditah 19 hours later
Hi and thanks for this follow up question.

I will like to suggest that you get consulted by a sexologist. He will teach you more on how to get your mind focused and execute the job.

Thanks and hope this helps.
Dr. Ditah, Md
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Have a erection problem, not getting hard. Suggestion? 11 days later
hello dr hope your ok anyway man 8 want to ask something i been masturbating the past 6yrs to porn and sex stories and still today when i read an story or watch porn i get erection so basically my brain is on pornographic will i get my libido and erection back if i stop watching porn or read stories and please don't tell me no sure this is the problem..i been in this shit for the past 6years and now.its on my brain that's why i don't get any feelings for a girl in real tell me 8f i fully stop the porn' stories and masturbation will my libido and erection come back after some month?

thank you
Answered by Dr. Chobufo Ditah 7 days later
Brief Answer:

Detailed Answer:
It is all about the mindset. If you slowly refocus your ind on a lad as the stimulus and not porn stories and masturbation, you would witness a gradual improvement in your sexual arousal. Try and do these.

All the best.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Have a erection problem, not getting hard. Suggestion? 20 hours later
try and do what sir i didn't understand you
Answered by Dr. Chobufo Ditah 24 days later
Brief Answer:
Re-focus your attention to what matters!

Detailed Answer:
Hi and thank you so much for this follow up.

The real issue here is how you focus your mind on getting sexually aroused by being with a lady you love rather than resorting to films/masturbation.

If you have heard of conditioning, then it is a process where you are made to react to things depending on the stimulus. normally, the stimulus for sexual arousal is seeing a lady or thinking of having sex, However, you have shifted yours from these traditional ones to movies and masturbation. if you could try and learn how to associate sexual arousal with being with a girl, the problem would be resolved by now. That is what I mean by mindset.

Hope this helps. Limit all the other distractions like masturbation and porn and focus more on getting aroused by a partner and you would soon start to improve and regain the natural pathways. I wish you well.
Dr. Ditah, MD
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