Dear Sir, I am 34 now. i have a history of severe mental breakdown and sever depression . While studying for 1st year B.Tech and parallely preparing for MBBS entrace exam in1996, one day morning i have lost my control and my heart started beating very fast. i could not concentrate on my morning pray. since then, condition started getting worse more and more. Gradually i have got a feeling of total isolation from normal life. i lost interest in every thing and even once thought about suicide . I started taking antidepressants and instead of a total terrible isolated mechanical life i finised my B.Tech by taking additional 4 years. Then i got married and now i have two kids. i have been working here in saudi arabia as project electrical engineer since 2007. since this incident i have been leading a total mechanical life without any aim in life, every time thinking about how to get out of this terrible situation. For last 14 years i have been under medicine and for last 5 years i have been taking fluvoxin 100 1-0-0 and clonotril 0,25 1/2-0-0. Still now the condtion is not at all better. i feel that i have lost all the mental development which i have gained from childhood to my age of 18. Mind is fully mechanical. i cannot feel properly even the time phenomena as past present and future. Feel like a totlally closed and inert mind accompanied with a lot of unnecessary unasswerable questions mostly religious which are hunting all the time, i am not getting any enjoyment, satisfaction or mental involvement even in daily prayers. I am a fully dedicated employee recognized by all my colleagues, but i am working unde stress wiht full of anxiety and fear without any self confidence and self esteem. I feel that i am addicted to the above mentioned medicine but still without having any mental satisfactory life as explained above. I feel that i cannot fully recover my lost mind, but would like to reach such a state where i could lead peacefull life rest of my life. Kindly advise me what shall i do to get back to my life. Thanks