Welcome to HCM and thanks for your query.
This is most probably smegma
and the secretions that usually happens for almost everyone during foreplay, preparing the organ for the sexual act.
The body does not know whether you are going to stop just talking and hence getting it prepared for the act.
This is the usual norm and there is nothing to worry.
Satisfying wife is just not the sexual act alone. It is all about how you treat her overall, give her sense of security and so on. There is a long way to go.
As long as u have good libido and strong erection you should be doing well in family life.