Brief Answer:
Regarding genital herpes

Detailed Answer:
Hello. Thank you for writing to us

I am dr. kakkar (dermatologist and venereologist). I have gone through your query and I have noted your concern.

Though, Herpes virus can be shed from the Intact skin of genitals (asymptomatic shedding) but the risk of transmission is much less as compared to when there are visible skin lesions/ sores. Moreover, an infection that is years old is less infectious, owing to immune activation, as compared to a newly acquired infection which has more chances of transmission to sexual partners. In addition, suppressive therapy with valacyclovir (valtrex) is an effective option for further reducing the risk of transmission. One more effective way of reducing transmission of genital herpes is to use a condom, regularly.
So, you can fairly safely indulge in sexual activity with your girlfriend provided you are using a condom regularly, there are no visible skin lesions suggestive of herpes and you are taking suppressive therapy (valacyclovir), regularly. This is the best that can be effectively done for reducing transmission of herpes virus from one sexual partner to another. Touching a penis is absolutely safe.

Regards

---