Question: Hi,
I went to the beach this morning with my two children.
Before we had a ceremony. as we were late, I hurried. But both of them went slow. so we arrived late at the ceremony and were placed at diiferent locations even though we were from the same family.
Then my elder son asked me a question, and when I answered he faded away switching to a totally differnt subject. I told him it was really disrepectful.
THen they decided not to bath . So iwent for a swim. as they were jealous, they became nervous.
THey did not let me swim for long and then as I was drying in the sun, they never kept complaining, grining,...Eventually, the younger one throw on my feet a rock ( I hope not totally on purpose) . I was furious . I gvae him a little slap in the face.
Then, their mother after asking me numerous questions left home with the two of them letting me alone. They felt it was a good punishment for me . It put me in an awkward state.
I am a bit fed up of their attitude : the older one is always asking for more ( more leisure, more goods) and less work , no chores. I am always repeating to get them move
The younger ones has sometimes erratic behaviours ( he knocks walls while sleeping, he stumbled upon a cyclist , I was hurt while playing with him at tennis) and is always trying to compete with me.
He always needs to be pushed.
I love them both but I would like them to become active and less demanding and above all respectul.
What would be the best behaviour and speech ? I know the first step is to accept and that they are instruments of God. But I also need specific advise to put the pressure off and turnaround the situation from needy and demanding to respectful and active contributor.
The final touch is that they are somehow mainpulated by their mother who is also totally in this register : you owe me everything, I do not work I do the less effort watch tv ; i go to the beach and you get the money ( it is your curse by the bible) and assume evrything . I just want to be totally supported by you. I am just ready to complain if everything is not first class and accrding to my needs. Sometimes I wish I go away and let them manage the situation on their own so they can feel the difference. I feel like a burden . To keep the situation bearable I make a lot of efforts but I have seen today that they are not grateful and just ready to leave when everything is not as they like.
another strong point is that my drema is to live in a atmosphere of love and partnership iand the reality is that we live in fear and competition and power struggles with political alliances and games that are not very noble.
Could you give me an action plan
for tomorrow it 's sunday and we are supposed to spend the day together ; they want to go far and spend a lot of money and I have already spent all my budget and I am very reluctant to do big projects with unrespectful kids
for wednesday, we need to clean the whole house; ususally my wife will do the minimum and the kids also and the atmosphere will not be nice as the children will go back to school ; so we have complaints, tension, fear, anxiety,...How would you handle those situations ?