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How To Deal With Stranger Anxiety In An Infant?
Question: My daughter is 20 months old. She suffers from a stranger anxiety since she was 6 months old. I was expecting that it will phase out slowly but although it has reduced a bit but it still prevents her from playing or mixing with others. We take her daily to the children’s park, to shopping malls and other places where she does see a lot of people. Usually she would not cry on seeing a crowd, but if any person approaches her or tries to speak to her, she would start crying. If she is in the elevator and any unknown person enters she would do the same. We find it difficult if someone is visiting home for the first time. Or if we have to go to anyone’s place. I find it difficult now to take her by flight or train for any travel as she may panic. At the children’s park, she refuses to walk and clings on to her mother. She may sit on one or two toys and that’s it. But she runs around at home and is completely normal. She plays with the maids coming to our house and any other person whom she knows. Recently one of my nephews came home and she cried on seeing him. But after an hour or so, she was comfortable with him.
I am afraid if she will panic when her pre school starts. Please advise on how best to handle this and reduce the stranger anxiety. I would like to see her enjoy herself like other children. Does this have anything to do with hereditary traits?
I am afraid if she will panic when her pre school starts. Please advise on how best to handle this and reduce the stranger anxiety. I would like to see her enjoy herself like other children. Does this have anything to do with hereditary traits?
Brief Answer:
Do not worry
Detailed Answer:
Hi
I completely understand your concerns but do not worry. Stranger anxiety is commonly seen in this age group and most kids outgrow it by their third birthday. You may take the following measures to help her out:
1. Stick around your kid before leaving her with a caregiver. This will make her feel more secure and avoid anxieties when you leave her.
2. Explain her condition to the visitors coming to your house. Give her some time to warm up and become comfortable with them. Explain them not to rush in to pick her up and demand kisses and hugs. Instead, tell them to play it cool for a bit, and then maybe, after your toddler seems comfortable, offer her a favorite toy to entice her to connect with them.
3. Stay within arm’s reach. When toddler stranger anxiety sets in, it’s key to make it clear to your child that she’s “safe” by holding her or staying close to her. And be sure to give her lots of love and affection as she gets acclimated (or re-acclimated) to the new (or familiar) face.
4. If she is not comfortable in crowded areas then sensitise her gradually. Explain her the idea of going to a new place and exploring the things.
5. If you feel that she is not improving in the next 6 months and seems to be preoccupied with limited activities/people then visiting a child psychiatrist to rule out autistic spectrum disorders is needed. These disorders do have hereditary associations.
Hopefully she will improve as most of the other kids and will outgrow her anxieties.
Take care
Do not worry
Detailed Answer:
Hi
I completely understand your concerns but do not worry. Stranger anxiety is commonly seen in this age group and most kids outgrow it by their third birthday. You may take the following measures to help her out:
1. Stick around your kid before leaving her with a caregiver. This will make her feel more secure and avoid anxieties when you leave her.
2. Explain her condition to the visitors coming to your house. Give her some time to warm up and become comfortable with them. Explain them not to rush in to pick her up and demand kisses and hugs. Instead, tell them to play it cool for a bit, and then maybe, after your toddler seems comfortable, offer her a favorite toy to entice her to connect with them.
3. Stay within arm’s reach. When toddler stranger anxiety sets in, it’s key to make it clear to your child that she’s “safe” by holding her or staying close to her. And be sure to give her lots of love and affection as she gets acclimated (or re-acclimated) to the new (or familiar) face.
4. If she is not comfortable in crowded areas then sensitise her gradually. Explain her the idea of going to a new place and exploring the things.
5. If you feel that she is not improving in the next 6 months and seems to be preoccupied with limited activities/people then visiting a child psychiatrist to rule out autistic spectrum disorders is needed. These disorders do have hereditary associations.
Hopefully she will improve as most of the other kids and will outgrow her anxieties.
Take care
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
Thank you for the update. I would be wanting to get her evaluated for sure in case she does not improve. But it is difficult to take her to the paediatrician also. She recognizes the place and starts crying even before we reach the clinic. Does going to a pre school or daycare facility improve and help in these situations?
Brief Answer:
It takes time but will definitely improve
Detailed Answer:
Hi
Don't worry. Most kids improve in their third year of life. Follow the measures which I suggested with lots of good communication and play time with her to help her get rid of anxieties. Many kids do improve one's they start with playschool. But the exposure should be gradual and with lots of good communication. You and your spouse can accompany her for the first few days.
It takes time but will definitely improve
Detailed Answer:
Hi
Don't worry. Most kids improve in their third year of life. Follow the measures which I suggested with lots of good communication and play time with her to help her get rid of anxieties. Many kids do improve one's they start with playschool. But the exposure should be gradual and with lots of good communication. You and your spouse can accompany her for the first few days.
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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