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Had sex with different men before marriage. Developed cold urticaria and feeling dizzy. Related to HIV?

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HIV AIDS Specialist
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Hello. I am absolutely, completely and utterly petrified that I have HIV. I have considered ending my life. The thought is making me ill. I know that the only way to find out is to have a test. I have a strong christian family, a husband of 2 years and wonderful friends but absolutely nobody that I could begin to talk to about this issue. 8 years ago I had a relationship with a man from Zimbabwe. He had come to the UK to study, Law. He went to private schools in Zimbabwe (he was black Zimbabwian). He came to the UK and currently has a glittering legal career. He has won a number of awards and works at a global firm, very successfully. Similarly I am a Barrister, I am well educated too, however I was naive with regard to sexual health at the time that I met this man. We were only in a relationship for 6 months, for 3 months we used condoms, for the final 3 months, we did not. After we ended out relationship he told me that his Mother was very ill and possibly suffering from HIV. He said this in a fairly heated argument, it may have been to worry me, it may have been to tell me in a roundabout way, but nevertheless it did not register with me, at all, until now. I know through other his previous parter to me and his current parter (who he has been with since we broke up). His previous partner before me is married with a child, his current partner is, again, a successful lawyer. I have no idea whether this man is HIV positive or not. From the outside, all I see is a man leading a very normal and successful career with no side-effects. I know that the only way to find out if I have HIV is to take a test. I know, but I cannot. I would end my life, there would be no other way forward for me. I have a husband of two years who's life I would have absolutely ruined if I have this disease.
I have recently (in the last 3 weeks) developed cold urticaria. Alongside it I have been feeling dizzy. Whether fate or what not, I have no idea, but I typed into the net and it says that cold urticaria has been linked to HIV. I am distraught. The only other symptom vaguely different on my entire body at present is, what I thought was a spot, on my thigh which has not gone away (slightly raised and scabs over but never goes completely) for about 3 months. To my knowledge I do not have any signs of oral trush and no genital thrush. I have had absolutely no major illnesses in the last 8 years since my relationship with him. I did have a bad case of flu x2 christmases ago (x6 years post end of relationship) which the rest of my family did not get. My husband had one bad case of flu last October, which I did not get.
I am well and fit. My husband and I have an active lifestyle where we go to the gym, go running and all normal things.
One other thing to note, highly relevant, I should imagine, is that I was diagnosed with chlamydia when I broke up with that man, ghonnarhea was a negative result. I am pretty sure that I have never been tested for HIV.
I know that the only way to "know" is to have a test. I certainly will not be having sex with my husband until I can get to the bottom of this, or find a way forward, somehow but at the minute I am panic stricken. I just ned some sort of help. Some sort of guidance on, in reality, how likely it is that all these people associated with him are fine and well, I am fine and well, my husband is fine and well, but I have developed this cold urticaria, which I have read can be associated with HIV. I also recall in a blood test for something routine someone saying, about 2 years ago, that my white blood count was slightly low.
I am beside myself when I'm writing this.
Posted Fri, 12 Apr 2013 in HIV and AIDS
Answered by Dr. S. Murugan 2 hours later
Welcome to XXXXXXX

Thanks for posting your query.

You need not worry at all.
Cold urticaria is so common to have with many without any relation to HIV.

Even when the Zimbabwe man's mother is having HIV, it is not mandatory that this man also has HIV.

Even when we consider the possibility of this Zimbabwe man is having HIV, it is not rule that HIV has passed to you.
Nearly 30- 40% of HIV positive people's spouse are remaining non reactive to HIV in spite of their regular sex for many years. This situation is called as sero discordant.
So you need not worry at all about HIV only because of cold urticaria.
Definitely HIV test will become nonreactive for you.
Cheer up.
Dr S.Murugan

Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Had sex with different men before marriage. Developed cold urticaria and feeling dizzy. Related to HIV? 5 hours later
I'm a little confused by the answer. I'm not with this man now. I was with him 8 years ago. Since then he has been with another partner for 8 years. I have been with my husband for 4 years.
I'm just wondering whether the cold urticaria could be the first form of HIV symptoms after the 8 years since we ended our relationship?
Answered by Dr. S. Murugan 2 hours later
Welcome back.

Certainly not. Cold Urticaria is not at all first symptom of HIV. It can occur also in HIV disease. That is all.

If you still have confusion, get tested for HIV and get rid of your fear of HIV permanently. Avoiding sex with your husband will bring you unnecessary problems and misunderstanding.
Good luck to you.
Dr .S. Murugan
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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