why do i feel so unhappy? I have husband who loves me, a family who are always around but I am not satisfied with my life and just find myself crying whenever i am alone. I don t know what to do. I feel like I have to change something and I want to push my husband away not because he hurts me but because I don t know that i love him, I have even been trying to have an affair with a friend (although he is not interested) and all I do is throw myself at him and beat myself up when he doesn t respond. i hate myself. i just want to be happy again.