I have a very serious problem about perception. I cannot focus my eyes for long on the face of whoever I am talking to. I always feel very concious of where my eyes focus but i really just can t control it. Years ago I had a public breakdown wherein I just let all my feelings out, I was angry because I am suspected of being a thief. My officemate superior made hints, remarks although not directly so as excuse himself I m sure that it made me uneasy, annoyed and depressed. I just go along usually by engaging on his insensitive remarks. By then, it became constant and he always try to trap me and then observe my reaction. As a result I became paranoid. He cannot target others because they are like him and I am only a civilian employee. Prior to my breakdown I was diagnosed with hormonal imbalance due to goiter. I feel when I talk to another as I try to avoid it so that I will not be suspected, my eyes still wander on material things like cellphone. I now have developed fixation about these things, which is due to overly being sensitive to gossiping and observation by others. My eyes are doing the opposite, my brain says don t look. My other officemates know that I didn t do anything but doubt is always there given the fact of what they have observed about me. Am I suffering my anxiety? With OCD? paranoia? I was no like this before... help me pls.. I just want to die