Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. You are aware of paranoia, are you? If the description you are projecting here is true to the best of your knowledge, you definitely have paranoia. But, there is another way of seeing this. For a person who feels that he may have paranoia, could be obsessed with such a thought, and may feel paranoia like symptoms. you need to visit a psychologist / psychiatrist for clarification. Please don t guide the therapist. Just tell the symptoms and let them diagnose. If you require more of my help in this aspect, Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe the needed psychotherapy techniques which should help you cure your condition further. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.