hi.. thanks for writing...i have understood your concerns... the erectile problem u have seems to be related to anxiety..feeling shameful for the past bad performance and constant pressure in your mind for giving pleasure for long time to your wife may be the cause...but sometimes longer use of condoms may interfere with holding long erection.. u need not worry, just concentrate only on sex and forget everything about your past failures..your anxiety becomes low and u ll be able to hold for long duration... u shud spend more time in foreplay instead of direct penetrative stress..foreplay will help in holding erection for long time,... the premature ejaculation has also the same psychological origin...it can be treated with behavioral techniques and drugs..u can read about the behavioral techniques on the internet..these are like, squeeze technique, stop-start technique and other interruption techniques...both the partner shud participate in behavioral techniques..u ll be able to delay ejaculation without drugs..it is a matter of practice and will take time to show its effects.. there are drugs..in my opinion, for all your problems u shud consult a sexologist or psychiatrist and tell details of your problems and follow his advice..sexual problems are common and there is nothing shameful in seeking help from the professional... i hope u will find this advice helpful..best luck..