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Depression And Do Not Know What To Do, Please Suggest
Hi, I am Asha 33 yr old female. I feel i m losing interest in everything. I guess i m undergoing depression and don t know what to do. I feel no one loves me. i feel like crying when someone ask me the question how am I. i don t feel like going anywhere. For past few days don t have that enthusiasm to go to work and reach office in time. If i see any couple going together and having fun i feel sough of jeolous of them. When i get to know if some got engaged/getting married. i feel irritated and don t feel like speaking to them. At times i don t feel like speaking to anyone. I had a love failure 9yrs back. I feel like i need somone who can take care of me. love me and give me that affection but no one loves me. everyone reject me. i feel irritated when any guy come close to me now, i feel that the guy might have come with bad intentions.
Wed, 18 May 2011
Dear Asha,
How are you now? I can understand the pain and trauma that you are going through and its not un-natural..you have been through a painful experience once and are feeling hesitant and scared of getting into a relationship and at the same time the need of companionship is high.
Having these sad thoughts is agreeable but having irrational thougts like " noone loves me or everybody rejects me" needs to be worked on. There definitely would be some people who like you and some who dont..we all have choices when we select people we want to spend our lives with or be friends with..maybe even you would have rejected some people who may have apporached you for your own personal reasons...we need to accomodate and respect our feelings for others and what others feel for us.. such all or none thoughts where we use words like everybody or nobody and musts and shoulds make us feel misreable..
If you feel your emotions and thoughts are beyond your control and our affecting your social or occupational life as well as your health, you should meet a Psychiatrist or Psychologist and see if you qualify for getting professional help..
All the best Asha
Smriti Sawhney
Clinical Psychologist
RCI Reg no: A-12344
How are you now? I can understand the pain and trauma that you are going through and its not un-natural..you have been through a painful experience once and are feeling hesitant and scared of getting into a relationship and at the same time the need of companionship is high.
Having these sad thoughts is agreeable but having irrational thougts like " noone loves me or everybody rejects me" needs to be worked on. There definitely would be some people who like you and some who dont..we all have choices when we select people we want to spend our lives with or be friends with..maybe even you would have rejected some people who may have apporached you for your own personal reasons...we need to accomodate and respect our feelings for others and what others feel for us.. such all or none thoughts where we use words like everybody or nobody and musts and shoulds make us feel misreable..
If you feel your emotions and thoughts are beyond your control and our affecting your social or occupational life as well as your health, you should meet a Psychiatrist or Psychologist and see if you qualify for getting professional help..
All the best Asha
Smriti Sawhney
Clinical Psychologist
RCI Reg no: A-12344
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User's Response
Dr. Suman Waldiya's
Response
Dear Asha,
I agree with the advice given by my collegues,but felt like writing in my own words.
I might not understand the depth of trauma of failed love. What I understood from your problem above is that, a kind of pressure is getting build up every time you see a happy couple or someone gettign engaged or having fun, you actuly don't get jeleous of them , if you observe deeper you get angry at yourself which get translated into the feeling that you are getting jealous, that's why you said I "feel" jeleous in fact it's the anger on self /your circumstances / situation and feeling of hopeless ness,however there is hope for positive outcome in life.
The truth is not everyone reject you, infact if you search you will find opposite.There is lot of life hope and happiness in life . You need to increase your faith in good things in life and if you believe in God strongly believe in Him.
My strong recommendation is read some self help books, biographies of the people who have gone through worse situation in life still emerged happy ultimately.
You need to exercise strong " will power "to overcome current situation by yourself else definitly consult psychiatrist personally.
But you dont foget to read good books ,feel free to mail me anytime.
I agree with the advice given by my collegues,but felt like writing in my own words.
I might not understand the depth of trauma of failed love. What I understood from your problem above is that, a kind of pressure is getting build up every time you see a happy couple or someone gettign engaged or having fun, you actuly don't get jeleous of them , if you observe deeper you get angry at yourself which get translated into the feeling that you are getting jealous, that's why you said I "feel" jeleous in fact it's the anger on self /your circumstances / situation and feeling of hopeless ness,however there is hope for positive outcome in life.
The truth is not everyone reject you, infact if you search you will find opposite.There is lot of life hope and happiness in life . You need to increase your faith in good things in life and if you believe in God strongly believe in Him.
My strong recommendation is read some self help books, biographies of the people who have gone through worse situation in life still emerged happy ultimately.
You need to exercise strong " will power "to overcome current situation by yourself else definitly consult psychiatrist personally.
But you dont foget to read good books ,feel free to mail me anytime.
Hi Asha,
What u suffering is a loneliness syndrome....its passing phase in everyones life...but if u getting ur routine disturbed because of it and unable work properly then pls consult to nerest psychiatrist he can definately help u.
Its like u having adjustment problem with secondarily depression...like wearing specs of negative vision and visualising evrything in negative way...to remove this u should meet to psychiatrist personally
What u suffering is a loneliness syndrome....its passing phase in everyones life...but if u getting ur routine disturbed because of it and unable work properly then pls consult to nerest psychiatrist he can definately help u.
Its like u having adjustment problem with secondarily depression...like wearing specs of negative vision and visualising evrything in negative way...to remove this u should meet to psychiatrist personally
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hi Asha;
You have asked a question & given the answer by yourself.That is you are feeling lonely & you need some body to love & care for.Asha remember we all need an emotional outlet ;who is a person to whom we can pour our heart out.HE/SHE can be any friend ;parent ;relative ;colleague;anybody .Find whom you are comfortable ;have a talk with that person .We all have some good & some things with in us.A good friend will tell you your drawbacks try to correct them.Remember first start loving every body & they will reciprocate with love;one day after the negative things in you are corrected you will notice everybody loves you .LOVE THEM TO BE LOVED BY THEM.Build your trust don't think negative ;you will never know who is coming your way with real love.Give those people sometime then you judge them from your point of view as to who is the person you want to live with.I know its difficult but try to change yourself & be happy .To be happy we can't change the world so better change yourself & adjust yourself accordingly & you will feel as if the world has changed for you.Take care ;any questions feel free to ask.
thanks
You have asked a question & given the answer by yourself.That is you are feeling lonely & you need some body to love & care for.Asha remember we all need an emotional outlet ;who is a person to whom we can pour our heart out.HE/SHE can be any friend ;parent ;relative ;colleague;anybody .Find whom you are comfortable ;have a talk with that person .We all have some good & some things with in us.A good friend will tell you your drawbacks try to correct them.Remember first start loving every body & they will reciprocate with love;one day after the negative things in you are corrected you will notice everybody loves you .LOVE THEM TO BE LOVED BY THEM.Build your trust don't think negative ;you will never know who is coming your way with real love.Give those people sometime then you judge them from your point of view as to who is the person you want to live with.I know its difficult but try to change yourself & be happy .To be happy we can't change the world so better change yourself & adjust yourself accordingly & you will feel as if the world has changed for you.Take care ;any questions feel free to ask.
thanks
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