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Why am i attracted to males inspite of being a male?

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Practicing since : 2004
Answered : 112 Questions
Sir my name is XXXX and i am 23 year old male. My uncle abused me in childhood as mostly i was with him as my parents were working. From 9 to 16 year he made sexual relations. When i became understand and he got married this all was stop but after this i become attracted towards boys/males. While i am a male. I read many articles and i think i am going to be homosexual or XXXXXXX because after my uncle i had relations with my friends also. Towards girls i am little bit attraced but never make a relation. I am in a dillema sometime i tried to end my life sometime i think that i have to end my life as in india peoples of my type can not survive. As i am thinking a lot about this and i am under dipression which affecticing my job and daily life. After 16 year i mustarbate a lot till now i am doing it as i have unable to control myself in night. And because of it i am feeling very weak and nerves I am alone in the city and not have friends. I am requesting you to suggest me what should i do ? I dont want to end my life . I want to do something and make my carrier bright please doctor help me...........
Posted Thu, 13 Mar 2014 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. Lav Kaushik 1 hour later
Brief Answer: Gender Identity disorder and depression Detailed Answer: Hello Thanks for choosing Healthcare magic. At the moment it seems you are struggling with two psychiatric conditions -- 1) Gender Identity Disorder (GID) and 2) Depression, the latter being a repercussion of the child abuse trauma at the hands of your uncle and also the gender identity disorder. You see your uncle took advantage of your innocence and practiced what is termed as Pedophilia which actually contributed towards your dilemma about your sexual preferences ( i.e GID). Other than this you have mentioned that you also had relationships with other male friends and you are only little bit attracted physically to females which further supports GID diagnosis. So i reckon that you need to get yourself thoroughly evaluated by a clinical psychologist for GID and depression and upon confirmation the same psychologist shall start you on CBT type of counseling to deal with these two conditions and to help you to gain some insight into your sexuality which is going to help you in future life choices. Whether you are homosexual or not, this can only be decided after the evaluation is done. You may also seek prescription of an ssri class anti depressant from a psychiatrist to kick start your recovery from depression which is essential for you to restore your clear and objective thinking and to regain control over your professional , social and professional domains of life which are falling apart. I hope the answer has been helpful. If there is no clarification needed further by you then kindly please rate the answer. Regards
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Why am i attracted to males inspite of being a male? 5 hours later
Dr. Love thank you very much, but as you said evaluation have to be done and i have to go through counseling. I will definietly go through it but is it sure if i found that i am a homosexual than will the Dr cure my problem. I would be able to do sex or not? Why i am very depressed , all time headace and not happy with any thing going in my life. Kindly suggest me may i do something to change my sexual identity. I dont want to be a Homosexual.
Answered by Dr. Lav Kaushik 2 hours later
Brief Answer: Follow up answer Detailed Answer: Thanks for the inputs. Well you see your depression is a result of past traumatic emotional and physical abuse which not only scarred your soul but also which contributed to your Gender Identity disorder. However with use of an anti depressant such as an ssri class anti depressant plus CBT counseling from the psychologist, it can be expected that you shall slowly start coming out of depression which in turn will make you regain your lost confidence and self esteem and bring perspective to your thinking pattern which is totally under the influence of depression as of now. So first thing would be to start on CBT therapy and an anti depressant after the assessment about your Gender identity disorder and depression has been made by the expert psychologist or a psychiatrist. Now the associated important question that remains is that in the wake of assessment making it confirmed that you are a homosexual the psychologist / psychiatrist will like to offer you psychoeducation to allay your myths and misconceptions about homosexuality and also offer therapy so as to teach you coping skills and strategy to deal with and accept your new found sexuality so that you can lead your life as a homosexual with as much ease as possible. If the assessment makes it confirmed that you are a homosexual then you shall find sexual gratification in the company of a man rather than a woman. I can understand that this may be too hard for you to digest and to come to terms with because of the stigma/ taboo attached with homosexuality but i will like to say that homosexuality is a variant of heterogenous sexuality that we consider as normal in the society, so you shall not pull yourself down and feel guilty if you come out to be a homosexual and you shall take pride in your sexuality. You see a homosexual shall not be able to find sexual satisfaction and happiness by playing role of a heterosexual so why one shall not be true to yourself and lead a life in a way that brings you content and happiness. You shall be able to come to terms with this concept more once you start on therapy after the assessment. I hope this answers your question. If you no further clarification then kindly close the discussion and rate the answer. Regards
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Why am i attracted to males inspite of being a male? 4 days later
Dr. XXXXXXX after knowing about my problem i am feeling well that there is solution for me. I am not closing discussion as I want to be touch till my counseling from the psychologist. Dr i am in a training and when I will back to my place and take treatment from sexologist/ psychologist , i will discuss this with you as now i have faith on you. I am requestion you to be in touch so that i may be clear that another Dr who will treat me for my disorder is a good one or just misguiding me. I hope you may undersstand that in medical some people makes fraudulent work. Kindly provide me your email ID so that i wil be in a condition to discuss my tratment by sending my sexologist/ psychologist 's prescriton /medicine and therapies. As i know that only you may answer that i am going in a right direction. XXXXX
Answered by Dr. Lav Kaushik 2 hours later
Brief Answer: Follow up Detailed Answer: Thanks for showing faith in me and i appreciate it very much. However since this is a paid site and there are some rules and regulations to follow which refrain me from sharing my email address with you for direct correspondence. But you can always come here on this forum and discuss with me the course of action which your therapist/ psychologist is pursuing and for that you may post the question referring to my name. I hope this answers your query. So may choose to close this discussion and rate the answer and then come back later with a new post once you have started the therapy from a psychologist. Regards
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