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Not getting actual orgasm. Testosterone is normal. What is the problem?

Dec 2012
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Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2012
Answered : 1704 Questions
dating issuesI have issues with dating. when I am being intimate with girlfriends that I do find attractive I do get erections and precum but not an actual orgasm. but when it comes time to have intercourse I go soft but its even when I know I'm not nervous. I've had full blood work before and my doctors have told me my testosterone is normal. idk what's going wrong. I'm not sexually attracted to men so I know I'm not XXXXXXX because I've already tested those waters. what could be the problem?
Posted Wed, 20 Feb 2013 in Men Sexual Problems
Answered by Dr. Nsah Bernard 2 hours later

It's good you know it's not an issue with testosterone. I think it's not an issue of which is with an organic illness with your system. Sexual intercourse or activity has both psychological, emotional and physical determinants.

Psychological preparedness is very important and vital in sex quality. You must ensure first you love the lady you want to have sex with. Stress usually reduces the quality of sex, and apparently it's not the case with you.

An important, and I propose where you got to concentrate on now is preparing yourself for sexual intercourse. This preparatory phase is of utmost intercourse. You should not start sexual activity directly with a penetration. You must certainly identify particular sensitive areas of your body that arouse you must sexually. Communication with your partner at this point in time might help. Spending much time insisting on these areas, may be kissing or otherwise, caressing before the act could prove beneficial in improving the quality of sex.

A good psychological state, ensuring you love your partner, preparation with adequate sexual amusement at your sexually sensitive areas, and communication with your partner are worth trying. You must not base your mind on direct penetration after you get an erection.

Just the best,
Nsah, MD.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Not getting actual orgasm. Testosterone is normal. What is the problem? 4 hours later
Well that's what I thought I was doing at first because that is 1 area that I love is foreplay but it sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't . But with me being a chronic masturbator have anything to do with that as well?
Answered by Dr. Nsah Bernard 20 minutes later

Now that you have mentioned the fact that you are involved in chronic masturbation that explains your present situation with women and dating.

Many studies have shown that most men that suffer from addictive masturbation turn to always have issues with their sexual lives. It is either they do not get proper erections after contact with a woman or they take long to ejaculate. This is so because your brain has actually unconsciously replaced your ability to get satisfied by a woman to getting satisfied with masturbation.

At this point, I will recommend that you see a fertility doctor who will guide you through the process of getting off the masturbation addiction and to start living a natural healthy sexual life. By this, you will need to gradually stop the act by reducing the frequency of the masturbation episodes and until you can finally stop. This will help your mind to also start accepting other ways of being satisfied especially when making love to a woman.

Hope this helps
Nsah, MD
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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