Question: I have had depression and anxiety since 1995. I was able to cope with these conditions through drugs and psychotherapy. However, things greatly worsened for me in 2012 when I came down with an illness that I thought at the time was limited, but has turned into a now 6 year long chronic terrible illness. It is very complex, but the outstanding conditions I have include chronic fatigue syndrome, adrenal fatigue, severe sleep disorders, and autoimmune conditions. I have gone through a tremendous struggle and tremendous increase in stress, depression, and anxiety as I have seen over 10 doctors and I am no better, I am worsening. I also have had hundreds of days with suicidal thoughts. I might mention I never had a single day of any suicidal thoughts when I had just the depression and anxiety. I have not been able to seek therapy because I am mostly bedridden due to my severe illness. That is why I decided to write to you, a psychologist, online to try and get some advice on my problems. I have never acted out or attempted anything suicidal, but have suffered terribly with thoughts of harming myself, primarily due to what the physical illness has done to me. It has basically taken my life, as I had known it, all away from me. I am barely able to take care of myself. I am disabled from the depression anxiety and now adding this chronic condition for which I have not seen any improvement whatsoever. It is taking a great toll on me physically and mentally. Now I am looking at alternative(holistic, functional medicine, integrative, etc.) doctors who may be able to help me, as all the conventional medical doctors I have seen cannot seem to help me. My main problem is that my condition is so complex and I am so sick and weak daily, that I cannot even prepare the medical history the doctors I am considering need to begin treatment. In other words, my illness is stopping me from conquering my illness.(mental roadblock) So I get nowhere and continue to just have enough energy to just basically survive at a very low level from day to day. I also am a very thorough person by nature, almost a perfectionist, and this also stops me. I was able to prepare my medical history up to 2016, but in the last two years I am so ill, I cannot get myself to "get my papers and medical history together". It is not really a motivational problem, to me. It is more that I am so sick that I just cannot do this mammoth task(as I see it). I am trying to figure out a way mentally to overcome this and be able to move forward. That is why I am writing you, a psychologist, to maybe figure out some ways I may do what I need to do. I have tried every thing I can think of....like just doing a little bit a day, can't do it. To me it is like climbing a mountain in a sickened condition. Or trying to drive a car with no gas. No matter how much motivation, if you don't have the "gas"(ie feel well enough to do the work)) you are not going to get anywhere. This only makes me more depressed and frustrated, and I worry about the suicide thing if this continues and I do not move forward and get treatment that will improve my condition and quality of life. It is getting very serious and I am quite worried. I hope I have given you enough information to give you a clear idea as to ways you might be able to help me. If you have any questions, please ask, and I will reply. Thank you very much for your help.

I wanted a psychologist not a psychiatrist. Please transfer my question to a psychologist as healthcaremagic offers that. Nothing personally against you or psychiatrists. I do not want to discuss medications. I want a non medication reply that only a psychologist who deals with the proper thinking of the mind to reply. Thank you.