Question: Sir, I am a 21 year old male writing about several serious problems that I am facing. My life is almost at a chaotic end and I feel that nothing is right with me. Primarily, Sir, I have to confess that I am a pathological liar and lying somehow makes me happy. I simply lie for no reason at all about things that do not matter. This leads to conflicts. In addition, I sometimes forget the truth and am unaware that I am lying. During those times, the lie appears to me as the truth.

Next, I have frequent mood swings and very often, without warning, I feel depressed without any apparent reason and this goes on for days. During these periods, I find it difficult to communicate with my family and relations(I am closest to my girlfried.) The same way, when I am happy, there seems no one as happy as me.

Whenever anything is told to me in a serious tone, I have a feeling that I am being blamed. I become frightened and this makes me appear suspicious before my close ones. During these episodes, I do realize that am behaving in an uncanny manner but that is what naturally comes off me. Following, these episodes I turn violent causing others to quarrel with me. At those times, nothing can soothe me, and my aggression continues for days and I calm down only to feel terribly sad.

Also, Sir, I have social conflicts due to another of my problems that I seek an explanation for. Oftentimes, I stare at things but in a few seconds I can recall nothing about them. Like, I am found looking at a poster by my girlfriend and I deny having seen it. She swears she saw me looking at it, and I could swear not having looked at it. Infact, I remember nothing, absolutely nothing, of its features. This indeed has led to trust issues. On my part, Sir, I believe that this happens because I am busy thinking and that my mind is attending a different area than my eyes. I would like to know how far this is true. Sir, I may see a hundred things on my way to somewhere and swear not remembering any of them.

Sir, I am in a grave danger and am having suicidal thoughts. I desperately need your help and need to know what is wrong with me, and what I should do. No one believes my problem. I am working on my lying habits but no one believes my other conditions. Please help me. Please tell me what am I suffering from.

Sir, I do deny straing at things but that is entirely due to my failure to remember them. And also, I am not aware of staing. Like if I am staring at a book, I am not aware of staring at it. So, when asked, "Why were you staring at the book?" or "What were you seeing?", I deny seeing it. Actually, I have almost no memory of staring. To me it is like looking without seeing. Since I see nothing, I cannot remember anything. Recently, I was holding a catalogue in my hand for more than like 5 minutes and looking at it, but I could remember nothing of it when asked. I just denied it as I could remember no face or feature. This led to a long quarrel when ended with me in tears and wanting to die. This is an instance when I was aware of staring. However, other times, I dont even remember looking. Sir, I travel from home to college almost everyday, but I remember seeing nothing on the way. Absolutely nothing.

Also, I have consiously denied at times due to the fear that If I am found out staring at something, I might be involved into a quarrel.

I donot have any symptom like compulsive hand washing, or arrangement, but I can recall looking at the clock continuously.

Sir, like I told you, I feel I am being blamed. To relate an incident, once I am asked whether I saw something, or if I am accused of lying, I begin to panic. One minute I cry, and the next minute I show verbal aggression. Tears follow aggression and aggression follows tears. Those times, I just want to be left alone and if I am not let to go, I feel victimized and tortured. I feel like a mad person. I am told, "Tell me the truth." Once I tell the truth, it is not accepted. Then, I begin doubting which is the truth, the one I know to be true or the one I am expected to tell. I fall into a dilemma. Day after day, Night after Night, my inner turmoil begins. The only pleasure I used to have was reading and music. I have lost all those. I wanted to write, all I want now is to die. I feel I am torturing others and the lives of my loved ones are ending because of me.

Sir, I need to know if I am crazy or have any mental disorder or something. I am beginning to feel that I am not fit for society.

Thank you Sir for your advice.

I would like to add up some information. I am told that I lack patience while listening and I react too impulsively even if I am not being blamed or being told something bad. However, Sir, I do not do this on intention and I feel not loved and unwanted at those times. I am told that during these seizures I dont trust anyone and want them to go away and leave me alone. But at the same time, I feel that I am being unwanted and unloved. Much later, when I recover and I am explained, I realize that this is not true but when these seizures take place I have absolutely no control over myself. Sir, sometimes I want to feel sad and reject all consolations or love that is offered. I want to be left alone and loved at the same time.

My mood swings are getting worse and my loved ones tell me that my emotions are extreme-either extremely sad or extremely happy. My anger too is extreme. I am always unable to be calm and it takes me hours or even days to cool down. During these periods, I fail to understand the emotions of close ones. I even take drastic steps in feat of anger which lead to severe quarrels and misunderstandings..And I do it mostly with the closest person in my life..

Could you please explain this in medical terms?

Hello sir
Thanks for helping me this far.
I accept that I often get angry on family members and can clearly recall these episodes. I would like to add up something more. I am told that I get very easily excited and loose control over my words and actions. And it happens mostly after reading somethig or watching a film. It infuses in me either a sense of anger or a feeling of irritation.

And Sir we don't have a Neuropsychiatrist in our town..so I wont be able to see a neuropsychiatrist. So I wanted to know how can I get the medicines that u have recomended without a prescription?

I have explained everything as elaborately as possible in these follow-up sessions.Sir if you could you give me a final advice regarding the medications and my problem as well.