How to avoid lonliness due to social boycott?
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Dear sir, I'm XXXX from chennai. I was suffering from social boycott due to extreme handsome. Due to this, I was mentally depressed. wherever I go, many of the people feel irritated when they saw my face. I have one question. why this tamil society doesn't accept me. Whether racism only in tamilnadu. I'm not doing bad things in girls related matters. Even though, I'm getting less number of friends because of my face. Please advise me how to recover from this situation.
Posted Tue, 28 Jan 2014 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. Rakesh Karanwal 2 hours later
Brief Answer: Consult a Psychologist Detailed Answer: Hi XXXX, Thanks for your query. I can fully understand your dilemma. However, I am slightly confused. Clarify what you mean by being extremely handsome. Do you mean that you are extremely beautiful, or have a below average looks. I presume that you are very beautiful. If that is true, your BEAUTY is an ASSET. It is people's sheer JEALOUSY which manifests in the form of boycott. You should feel proud of the fact that YOU are the cause of their inferiority complex. Secretly, all your colleagues wish to have good looks like you. So, your victory lies in their defeat! Further, it is the internal beauty that really matters. I am sure that you have a heart of gold; you are sincere, dedicated, hard working, kind to people, have a helpful attitude. THESE ARE THE REAL QUALITIES OF A GREAT MAN. You need not bother of what people think about you or say behind your back, as long as your conscience is clear. Do not be highly sentimental. Learn to be more practical and pragmatic. One lives for himself and NOT for the society. Racism is prevalent not only in Tamilnadu, but all over India. Enjoy yourself in the company of the small group of friends. Work hard and concentrate only on your studies/career. Your focus should be on doing well in life. It is educational qualification and position which commands respect in the society. Lastly, STOP bothering about other people: learn to live for your self; acquire as much education as possible; rise above others in career and do well. THERE IS NO PLACE FOR MENTAL DEPRESSION. SO, CHEER UP! make a name and reputation for yourself. Respect, admiration and fame will follow. Lastly, a consultation with a Psychologist will do you good. He/she will help you in coming out of depression, bring back your self-confidence and self-esteem. You can write to me as many times as you wish. I will always be with you. AND, I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU. Hope I have addressed to your concerns to your complete satisfaction and you find my response helpful and informative. I will be happy to answer further queries, if any. Take care, Col (Dr.) Rakesh Karanwal
Follow-up: How to avoid lonliness due to social boycott? 8 hours later
hello doctor, From your answer, I felt some confidence and good idea. Even though, why more than 90% of people feel irritated when they saw me. But my face beauty comes only by gods gift. What sin I have done. I have one last question. How to avoid loneliness. I have less number of friends to share. How to lead a life stand alone with courage.
Answered by Dr. Rakesh Karanwal 2 hours later
Brief Answer: You need a short course of anti-depressant drugs. Detailed Answer: Well XXXX, I fully understand that following the advice given by me is easier said than done. Just focus on the good qualities God has gifted you. Feel proud of the God's gifts. Keep yourself busy with your studies and build your career. Firstly, decide your goals in life : what you want to do and achieve in life. Then, put your heart and soul in achieving those goals. Loneliness is purely a state of mind. If you already doing a job, get married. Your wife will be your BEST friend, companion, guide and well-wisher. Share your feelings with her and she will definitely extend a helping hand and support you to the hilt. Drive away your shyness. Take more interest in girls and try to find a like-minded girlfriend, who likes you for what you are. It is perfectly natural at this age to be attracted towards opposite sex. So, don't run away from this fact. Just keep your friend circle to the minimum, who understand you and can be trusted. Win everybody's hearts with your good and decent nature. Enjoying pursuing your hobbies in your free time. Everyone in this world, passes through a bad patch in life. It is just a passing phase and there is always light at end of the tunnel. I now feel that you should consult a Psychiatrist, who will prescribe you a course of anti-depressants, as a stop gap arrangement. The medicines will be stopped once you revert back to your normal self and regain your self-confidence. Take care and follow my advice Dr. Rakesh Karanwal