Question: Hi,
I’ve been increasingly worried about my mental health lately and am trying to decide whether or not I should take action to see if there is an underlying issue. I have no diagnosed issues but there have still been issues, and they are rooted far back. Growing up, my family moved much more than normal people do. Constantly experiencing unwanted change and turbulence (roughly every 2 years, sometimes even less than that), I developed a very deep depression from my early teens lasting all the way into the beginning of my 20’s, probably ending around 21-22. Going back to the beginning, my grades in school absolutely plummeted as a result, further increasing my depression. The depression was awful but I was afraid to outright ask for help out of fear of humiliation. I did ask for tutoring or to be taken and tested for adhd but my parents refused and I was told to suck it up and try harder. My sophomore year in high school, I was finally tested and given drugs for it and my grades went up, but I was only on the medication temporarily. I barely scraped by school, graduating with a 2.1 gpa which took every ounce of effort I had. Which is ironic because as a young kid, I was always known for being so smart and I remember the teachers would brag about it. But I was the idiot graduating high school. To this day, I still struggle. Not with depression but with very bad insomnia, occasional anxiety, and I am afraid that my cognitive abilities are in decline. To add to things, I have been deployed twice in the navy and have worked countless hours in unhealthy and very stressful environments. Another issue to this day is that forget random things, things I shouldn’t forget. Or obvious choices I should make that I don’t even think of. The best thing I can compare it to is a glitch in a video game. It occurs on a regular basis and I feel like I forget small things all the time. At work, it’s embarrassing. The best way to describe these instances is that they feel like glitches, like in a video game or something. Like they just should not be happening, but they do. Another thing to add that I didn’t think of earlier, I am tired all the time. Literally 24/7, I always want to go to sleep. I never feel 100% awake, but I wish I could. I am not the type of person to seek help, ever. But this is getting to a point where I’m really starting to question things so this is my first step. Again, I don’t like to ask for help but I am genuinely worried about how I forget things and I am worried about my mental state. And given my past experiences and the fact that I feel like my mental state is in decline, I feel like I need to do this. Sorry the question is so long but I figured a history of the issue(s) would help. Should I try to get an mri scab or something like that? Also to add, my family has a history of cancer with several people. Again, I’m not one to worry and I brush things off easily but I genuinely am starting to worry and I feel it would be important to get to the bottom of this possible issue.