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Difficulty in getting erection while having sex. What could be the cause?

Jun 2013
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Practicing since : 2005
Answered : 2219 Questions
Hi, I am a 27 year old male. I began masturbating when i was 18 and for the past few days i do it daily maybe 4-5 times a day sometimes. Today I tried to have sex with a girl for the first time in my life. But whatever she tried i would not get a hard on. She tried oral, hands , even tried to insert into vagina, nothing worked. The thing is i have no problem in getting an erection while masturbation.
I never used any lubricants while masturbating and sometimes i would stop only when i penis gets sore.
I don't know what to do. I think my life is ruined . Please advice. Will i get normal again?
Posted Tue, 11 Jun 2013 in Sexual Problems
Answered by Dr. Sushil Kumar Sompur 14 minutes later
Hi there ~

I understand your concern. Masturbation is normal and the urge to masturbate is a normal physiological process. However, anything done in excess is not going to be helpful. You would know your limit. Burning sensation while urinating after excessive masturbation and difficulty urinating are signs of bladder irritation as well as the inflammation around your seminal vesicles and prostate. I understand that you are trying to have sex for the first time. Anxiety can cause you to lose erections while trying to have sex, especially for the first time. It would benefit for you to have good foreplay and afterplay, and not just intercourse. If you need further information you might benefit from seeing a sexologist or reading up more on foreplay. Women like foreplay and rarely do they say that sex is not satisfying. It might help, to take your wife with you to a sexologist for therapy or to a psychotherapist for counseling regarding intercourse and also courting, to build the relationship.

Firstly you might need to consult an psychiatrist to find out if you have any difficulties in your libido or have other mental health concerns like depression. Otherwise, you have a very common problem of erectile dysfunction and / or premature ejaculation and it can be easily treated with medications available during this time. As for natural ways, if you go with ayurvedic medications, confido by himalaya has case based evidence for efficacy. The class of medication is called phosphodiesterase 5 inhibitors (PDE5Inh) selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors and it also helps with decreased libido which is a result of depression if you are going through one. I advise you to consult with a qualified psychiatrist who might be able to help in this regard. I hope this helps.

Also I am glad that you have no other health issues and hope it is the same case with your partner. Also not smoking or consuming alcohol might be hugely beneficial.

Take care and have a lovely day!
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Difficulty in getting erection while having sex. What could be the cause? 14 minutes later
Thank you very much doctor. I would like to know whether it will be a long healing process? How long will it take to become normal? Besides that i have heard that masturbation damages penis nerves n skin beomes rough thus preventing sensations. Is this true? Does stopping masturbation help?
Answered by Dr. Sushil Kumar Sompur 8 minutes later
Hi there ~

I do not think that you have a problem here. Therefore I would like you to stop thinking about this as being a healing process and whether it is a long or a short one. I think that you will become normal very soon, if you follow my advise above. Regarding masturbation, it seems like my explanation above has not had any impact on you. Let me clarify. Masturbation means touching and rubbing your penis (or clitoris and breasts for women) for sexual pleasure. It’s a normal and healthy way for people to explore their own bodies. It’s also a form of safer sex that lets people find out what feels good, where and how they like to be touched and how to have an orgasm.

Masturbation can also happen between two people (mutual masturbation). This can be a very intimate experience, especially for people who don’t feel ready for sex.

Even though it’s normal, some people who masturbate feel ashamed or embarrassed about it. This is partly because masturbation has been wrongly labelled as deviant, XXXXXXX and sinful over the years and many of these out-dated myths still exist.

In young people, it’s also because many feel nervous or unsure about their developing bodies and sexual feelings. Mixed messages and misinformation about masturbation from parents, friends and the media can make them more anxious.

Some people think only people without partners masturbate, but most people with regular partners continue to masturbate throughout their adult life. The idea that adults who masturbate must be sexually deprived or inadequate simply isn’t true.

Other terms for masturbation include self-pleasuring and wanking.

Myths about masturbation:
- Masturbation has been wrongly blamed for a range of health problems, including:
- Blindness
- Mental health issues
- Sexual perversion
- Reduced sexual function.

How much is too much?
A common concern, especially among young people, is the frequency of masturbation. ‘Normal’ ranges from several times per day, week or month to never masturbating at all. How often a person masturbates isn’t a problem, unless it’s linked to an Take care of yourself!
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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