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How To Treat A Person Having A Fear Of Sex ?
Dear Respected Doctor Monnica,
My daughter got married in May 2012 (arranged Marriage). She had told couple of times that she is not liking the boy and her reasons were not convincing and hence we rejected it. Now till date she has no physical relation with her husband and says that when he comes near her, she gets mad and wants to run away. Further she has developed strong hatred for him. We know that the boy is good and decent. He is also surprised by her actions and feels that there must be some mental problem with her like Borderline Personality disorder(BPD). We are confused and in a state of shock. Also she says when she was young - 5-6 years, she was abused by a male relative, which we came to know now only. We are not sure if this is true or not.. Pl. guide us.
My daughter got married in May 2012 (arranged Marriage). She had told couple of times that she is not liking the boy and her reasons were not convincing and hence we rejected it. Now till date she has no physical relation with her husband and says that when he comes near her, she gets mad and wants to run away. Further she has developed strong hatred for him. We know that the boy is good and decent. He is also surprised by her actions and feels that there must be some mental problem with her like Borderline Personality disorder(BPD). We are confused and in a state of shock. Also she says when she was young - 5-6 years, she was abused by a male relative, which we came to know now only. We are not sure if this is true or not.. Pl. guide us.
Wed, 2 Jul 2014
Hullo, this is indeed a sad state of affairs. A person should never be "forced" into marriage,especially if she has already expressed Dislike prior to marriage.
There are 2 possible solutions to this impasse: considering that the marriage is not consummated one can opt for Divorce and later, much later, Re-marriage to a boy of the girl's choice.
Secondly, you can consult a Psychiatrist or a Marriage Counsellor who can attempt to bridge the mental gap between the partners. There can be no happy marriage unless there is mental bonding amidst the partners. It takes Time and Patience to achieve the latter and much depends on the skill of the counsellor/psychiatrist. I wish you good luck in her treatment.
There are 2 possible solutions to this impasse: considering that the marriage is not consummated one can opt for Divorce and later, much later, Re-marriage to a boy of the girl's choice.
Secondly, you can consult a Psychiatrist or a Marriage Counsellor who can attempt to bridge the mental gap between the partners. There can be no happy marriage unless there is mental bonding amidst the partners. It takes Time and Patience to achieve the latter and much depends on the skill of the counsellor/psychiatrist. I wish you good luck in her treatment.
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