I looked through your complaints and I understand that you are having issues that you are willing to deal with and you do not know how to deal with. The good part is, you actually wish to have a different life. You are suffering from Sever Depression
and which will require psychotherapy
and I will advise that you seek psychiatric consultation immediately.
Before you do anything, you should think strongly about your children and your wife and think of the period when you actually cared much about them and could do anything for them. Try to think of that period and how you felt good about the feelings of loving them. Then cling to it.
Depression might take time to be treated but you can be treated if you give your doctor the chance.
Trying to sort this online is a good step, but the best step is for you to see first your doctor or a psychiatric so that they can assist you before its too late. You will require a lot of counselling
and visit to your doctor to get over it.
I hope this helps you and wish you the best