Welcome to HCM
We understand your concerns
I went through your problem description. You are following a dangerous practice. Like every nicotine
product, nicotine gum also is dangerous to human being. You are clearly understnding and you know you are addicted to it.
Lamenting about the addiction and about its aftereffects is totlly debilitating and depressing. You have two options. Have might, show courage and stop using it and take de addicton treatment. Find a deaddiction center for that. Second (though I don't advice this) - Continue using nicotine gum, but stop lamenting and worrying about it. There are so many people available who are sfe even after using this for years. Worrying increases problems.
Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications.