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Having extreme emotional volatility and instability. Is there anything to do?

Mar 2013
User rating for this question
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Answered by
Practicing since : 1998
Answered : 5625 Questions
I XXXXXXX a very nice lady in December,she had only come out of a 15 month relationship in November and a 7month relationship previous to this,we get on very well but there are moments where she puts me on a pedestal and talks about how we are getting on and then the next conversation she is so far down (tell by her voice/tone) and does not really want to talk and says she does not want to start a relationship,wante someone with her all the time tends to run her family down when they dont call or ring every day and similar with friends ,finds friends don't invite her out all the time and she gets upset with this .We have XXXXXXX only 5 times and only day visits but speak on phone ,then times when she cries and wants a hug and companionship ,where do i go from here .Thanks
Posted Wed, 3 Apr 2013 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. Aarti Abraham 1 hour later
Thanks for your query.

I think the lady in question is having extreme emotional volatility and instability.
While this is normal during the teething stages of any relationship, the extent to which you describe it, does not sound normal.
She could be having mild bipolar disorder where she fluctuates between mania and depression.
You could take your time before committing yourself, and gently suggest her to have a pyschologist's counselling and opinion, so that she is better grounded for the relationship.
Regarding the medications, shingles or herpes often affects the eye. What she is having are mostly steroid shots to treat the residual inflammation in the eye .
You need to be aware and cautious about the past history of herpes too, before any sexual intimacy.

All the best
Take care and feel free to ask further questions.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Having extreme emotional volatility and instability. Is there anything to do? 2 hours later
thank you ,very interesting answer,especially re needle in eye,will she get any better if she does not go for help,i am not prepared to take a chance ,how long if we do get to gether can we have sex,or do i have to ware a condom for the rest of our lives,or how do i talk to her about this ,and where could this have come from,the last relationship (15 months) or previous relationship(7 months) where should i go from here,finish up or take a chance or will it mean i will have to talk to someone so i don't go crazy ,as i feel she has not told the truth,she claimed the relationship she had for 7 months caused this ,then what about the poor guy after (15 month relationship) where does he stand what are our rights to know about this problem ,does she have to tell me the truth ,about sorry crying on your shoulder but i feel i hae the right to know,thanks for listening XXXXXXX
Answered by Dr. Aarti Abraham 35 minutes later
As you can understand, without meeting her, I cannot assess the severity of the condition that the lady is having.
Only you can assess it, or ask her to have a couple counselling session.
Yes, you have to stay protected if you plan to be sexually active.
She would have got it from one of her previous partners.
She is under no legal obligation to reveal the details, but you have to trust her word if you ask her and she cares enough to reply.
You DO have a moral right to know her past medical details for sure.
Take care, and do not hesitate in seeking professional help if you are confused.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Having extreme emotional volatility and instability. Is there anything to do? 21 hours later
hello Dr XXXXXXX thank you for your reply.With herpes how long does it stay in ones system,does the male get this from a female in turn she gets from a male(vicious circle) how does the female know she has herpes,or how does the male know .Iam not saying she has herpes ,she did say that with her eye condition she cannot fly can only travel by road,does this help you ? i have another mate whose partner has to have eye injections but i believe this is to try and save her sight,she can fly with no problems.Can herpes be cleared up with medication? Then how long before we can have sex without protection?
I am very interested in the outcome ,looking forward to your reply.
Answered by Dr. Aarti Abraham 26 minutes later
Hello again XXXXXXX
Herpes is caused by different strains of the herpes virus.
Normally the one which causes ocular or eye infection is not the one responsible for sexually transmitted genital herpes, but it is possible.
One would need her complete records to comment definitely.
Once infected, with herpes, the Virus stays in the nerves lifelong, and the person is infectious.
You need to be sure about which type of herpes she had before you go in for sexual intercourse.
Most adults do not even know that they have herpes, but they are also potentially infectious.
It manifests as cold sores, genital lesions , as an acute flu like condition, or stays asymptomatic .
She could have picked up the infection from another person infected with herpes as they continue to shed the virus.
Please go through the following link
It might help you

Take care
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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