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Dr. Andrew Rynne

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Exp 50 years

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i have been feeling depressed and losing my interest in life, please help

I'm 26 yrs old and married for 2 yrs(love marriage). He is very caring and lovable. He smokes. He is 28 yrs old. The problem is we've a very poor sex life. Frequency of intercoure is 2-4 a month. It was a little better at 4-6 a month soon after marriage. He weighs 95 and is 6'2" tall. I've put on more weight recently. I weigh 84 and is 5'8" tall. I like to have atleast 3 intercouses in a week. But though he too wants to have, he is not initiating or if i initiate he says he is tired. We have even changed our home so that he travels less(sighted this as a reason earlier). He enjoys self sex most of the time. Says he started this when he was in his teenage. I feel very upset and whenever i speak to him about sex, he gets angry or tries to console me by saying he'll be more sensitive and never does. I've even left my job because i wanted a child and he said i leave my job before that. Its 10 months since iam at home and there is no improvement in our sex life. Recently he had UT infection and we found that he is diabetic. He'll sight this as an excuse hereafter, which iam deeply worried. What should i do to make him involve in sex? Now that our marriage is 2 yrs old, family members have started asking about a child and everyone is suggesting i undergo treatment. I've met a doctor already and advised us to increase our intercourse frequency, which my husband is not doing.I'm not able to tell this to anyone and i've started feeling depressed and losing my interest in life. Please advise.
Tue, 15 Dec 2009
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This is a somewhat complex situation May I suggest for you to consult a clinical psychologist or counselor who works with relationships near your place of residence.
Disclaimer: These answers are for your information only and not intended to replace your relationship with your treating physician.
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doctor1 MD

Im 26 yrs old and married for 2 yrs(love marriage). He is very caring and lovable. He smokes. He is 28 yrs old. The problem is weve a very poor sex life. Frequency of intercoure is 2-4 a month. It was a little better at 4-6 a month soon after marriage. He weighs 95 and is 62 tall. Ive put on more weight recently. I weigh 84 and is 58 tall. I like to have atleast 3 intercouses in a week. But though he too wants to have, he is not initiating or if i initiate he says he is tired. We have even changed our home so that he travels less(sighted this as a reason earlier). He enjoys self sex most of the time. Says he started this when he was in his teenage. I feel very upset and whenever i speak to him about sex, he gets angry or tries to console me by saying hell be more sensitive and never does. Ive even left my job because i wanted a child and he said i leave my job before that. Its 10 months since iam at home and there is no improvement in our sex life. Recently he had UT infection and we found that he is diabetic. Hell sight this as an excuse hereafter, which iam deeply worried. What should i do to make him involve in sex? Now that our marriage is 2 yrs old, family members have started asking about a child and everyone is suggesting i undergo treatment. Ive met a doctor already and advised us to increase our intercourse frequency, which my husband is not doing.Im not able to tell this to anyone and ive started feeling depressed and losing my interest in life. Please advise.

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