Hello dear, I understand your concerns. You had really difficult life and life is not easy thing. Sometimes we need medicamentous help. Paroxetine (Paxil) is helpful for you, take 1 tablet twice a day for a long time. Also try to find your hobby and do what you really want in your life. If you like to help people, then do it and in the end they will help you, never stay alone, better join to some job,educational course. Also you needs in psychotherapy: - Cognitive therapy. This type of talk therapy helps you recognize the ways of thinking that are keeping you stuck — for example, negative ways of perceiving normal situations. - Exposure therapy. This behavioral therapy helps you safely face what you find frightening so that you can learn to cope with it effectively. One approach to exposure therapy uses virtual reality programs that allow you to re-enter the setting in which you experienced trauma. - Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). EMDR combines exposure therapy with a series of guided eye movements that help you process traumatic memories and change how you react to traumatic memories and etc. Wishing you good health