Not sure how or what I am expecting as a answer, because I have been seeing a Psychiatrist since 2008. I take meds for depression, PTSD, OCD, and still fill like I am doomed. She has switched my meds around several times. I seem to do better for awhile, but I have not been able to get back close to the person I used to be. I was a Hair Stylist since 1982, owned my own Beauty Shop, was productive person, loved life, Loved To Laugh. That person no longer lives in me. I fill like I dropped her off on a corner somewhere, she s waiting for me to come back and get her, but I can t remember where I left her. I was in a marriage for 26 yrs.( and dated for 5 yrs. before we got married ) that seemed to be happy. Finding out that it was based on lies broke me. I ve been divorced since 2007. There is just too much to tell about what went wrong. No physical abuse, but plenty of MENTAL. How could I have been so blind, and stupid? He was a very good liar, and very good at being able to hide a different life he was living, and a LONG TERM relationship with another women, and short term relationships with more than a few. When I found out I was broken. I had complete and total trust in him. Had no reason not to, or at least I thought. I lost my home, my business, my profession, my mind ( hospitalized for depression, nervous breakdown ), in a nut shell, MY LIFE. I have never been able to pick up and go on. I stay at home, cry alot, ( STILL), sometimes have to get people to drive for me, don t want to be in public any more, and Public was my Profession. My customers loved me, and I them. gained over 100 lbs. don t want to bathe, (i do, but could care less), don t want to take care of myself, starting smoking a lot, hardly have no kind words for myself or anyone else for that matter. I love my family dearly. I fill like half my life was a lie. I am now 56 yrs. I have only dated 2 men since this, currently none and have not since 2009. I am so lonesome, depressed, sad, i am having health problems, have no energy, I m so very tired of not caring about much, about myself,. Sometimes I fill as tho just going to sleep and not waking would be so peaceful and comforting. I do not have a death wish, I actually have a life wish, I just want one that counts, and to be happy again. Have any ideas???????